


Butterfly

by LaylaStriene



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M, i tried I am sorry it isn't the best, if you cry I am sorry, this is a very angsty fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-26
Updated: 2018-01-01
Packaged: 2019-02-20 02:01:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 29,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13136787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaylaStriene/pseuds/LaylaStriene
Summary: Byun Baekhyun is a straight male who resides with his best friend Lee Jaemin. Things don't go the way one of them wants it to go after a confession and slowly their lives fall apart.





	1. Chapter One.

Butterfly

_Chapter One._

 

_Just a little while longer… then I can see Baekhyun again.._ Jaemin thought, glancing at the clock for the hundredth time. It was a Friday afternoon and he was at his last class of the day, and boy was college-level math _such_ a bore. Who cared about half of the equations that required extra thinking to get complete? Half of the time Jaemin didn’t even do the homework, even though he tried. He definitely regretted taking this class, but a promise to his parents was a promise to his parents… Jaemin sighed, sinking further into his seat, tuning out his professor who droned on and on. Finally the professor announced dismissal and Jaemin stuffed everything into his back before hightailing out of the lecture room. He tried not to walk too fast towards the front of the university, just to see his best friend, but that’s what he ended up doing. Baekhyun was talking animatedly to a friend of his until he got a call and Baekhyun waved goodbye to him. He turned to see Jaemin near him and he smiled widely.

 

“How’s it going Jaemin?” He asked, slinging his arm around Jaemin’s shoulder.

 

“Could be better. College math sucks, I’ve never disliked a class more than it.” Jaemin answered.

 

“Anyone shit on you today?”   


“Two people unfortunately. I didn’t say anything to them though, I ignored them and went to class.” The two began to make their way to their apartment which was a few blocks away from campus. It’d been a surprise to them both when Jaemin got into the same university as Baekhyun, and since they were best friends, they decided to share a dorm together. At first, it was okay, until the place didn’t really suit well for the both of them, so they moved out into an apartment nearby, which was the perfect choice. They continued to talk about their day until they reached their little home.

 

“So, what do you want to do today?” Baekhyun asked, flopping onto the couch and stretching. Jaemin tried not to stare at the tummy that revealed itself as he stretched.

 

“Um, honestly I don’t care. We could do whatever, since it’s Friday, you know?” Jaemin shoved Baek’s legs aside and sat down. Baekhyun turned around and rested his head on Jaemin’s thighs, while pulling out his phone.

 

“How about a lazy day, where we do nothing except be on our phones and show each other memes?”

 

“That’s lame. And don’t we already kinda do that? Like everyday?”

 

“Eh, true. So then what do you want to do?” Baekhyun locked his phone and put it on his stomach, looking at Jaemin. _Kiss you? Because that’s what I always want to do?_ Jaemin thought.

 

“Watch a movie? Anything on Netflix. With pizza. Oh and don’t forget the garlic breadsticks.”

 

“Alright, sounds like a plan.” Baekhyun sat up and Jaemin already missed the feeling of the older boy’s head on his thighs. Lee Jaemin had a huge crush on Baekhyun, but he managed to keep it minimal enough so that no one else could tell, especially not Baekhyun himself. Why? Because Baekhyun was not gay, he liked girls. It was sad, but the only thing was that Jaemin really didn’t know if he actually truly did like girls, since he really liked to be quite touchy feely with Jaemin. Of course, Jaemin brushed it off as him just being a best friend and friendzoned himself, but he really couldn’t explain all the really random long holidays where Baekhyun would literally walk around, wearing nothing. No, not even boxers. Baekhyun was weird, but it was also something that made Jaemin like him more.

 

“Okay, all done.” Baekhyun interrupted his thoughts, standing up and then shuffling over to his bedroom. A moment later, he came out looking absolutely adorable in his flying squirrel onesie that he’d bought for his birthday. What kind of idiot bought something for themselves on their birthday!? Only Baekhyun.

 

“Oh you’re going to wear your onesie..?” Jaemin asked.

 

“Sure, why not?”

 

“Please tell me you’re wearing something underneath?” Jaemin squeaked.

 

“Nope!” Baekhyun plopped down onto the couch with his laptop and Jaemin just stared at him.

 

“Then don’t complain to me when it’s too hot or if you shit yourself.”

 

“Oh shut up, I’m old enough to go to the bathroom without a problem. Get comfortable squirt.” Jaemin grumbled to himself, while heading to his room which was opposite of Baekhyun’s and not to mention quite far away. Jaemin stripped and put on his own onesie which was a puppy. As Jaemin entered the small living room, he saw that Baek was on the phone. “You want me to what? Ah. I see. I’m afraid that can’t happen, I’m having a movie night with Jaemin. Yeah. WIth pizza and garlic breadsticks. No I’m not going to save you any, they’ll be gone before you even show up! No! That wasn’t an invitation! Don’t you dare. No, I’m not coming. Sorry, but I already have plans. Should’ve hit me up earlier. Alright, see you later. Bye.” Baekhyun hung up as soon as Jaemin sat down.

 

“Did you just cancel your plans with your friends?” Jaemin asked in a quiet voice.

 

“I did, because I already had plans with you squirt. I’m not going to ditch you and leave you alone to do nothing and be miserable whereas I have fun. What kind of a best friend would I be then?”

 

“A shitty one. Besides, even if you left I could’ve watched a movie by myself… Maybe even please myself.” His voice was still quiet and Baekhyun punched his shoulder.

 

“Keep that shit to yourself, you nasty coconut.”

 

“Hey, I lost my coconut hair ages ago! Don’t call me that. Squirt is fine even though I don’t like it, but I only tolerate it because I am short.”

 

“Yeah, yeah whatever. Pick a movie, I don’t care which one.”

 

“You always know what I pick..” Jaemin was a fan of romantic comedy movies, even though most were cliche, they’d already seen it, or just a plain bore. Most of the time they were Hollywood movies with Korean subs, because Jaemin always said that there was something about Hollywood’s rom-coms that never failed to get Jaemin attached to it. Tonight, he picked the Princess Diaries and when he looked at Baekhyun, he was just given a look that said ‘seriously? Again?’ And in response Jaemin just smiled sweetly, causing Baekhyun to roll his eyes in annoyance. But he never actually was annoyed with Jaemin. He never could be. Jaemin was a sweet, cute darling that didn’t deserve the hate or bullying he got.

 

The movie began and at first the two sat casually, away from each other. But after the pizza came and the movie went on, Baekhyun leaned closer and closer to the younger one. By the end of it, Baekhyun’s head was resting on Jaemin’s shoulder and Jaemin was stiff, nervous and tried not to freak out. They sat there in silence, neither of them moving. “Wanna watch another one?” Baekhyun asked.

 

“S-sure.” Baekhyun sat up and Jaemin wanted him near again, but he kept his mouth shut. He picked a horror movie this time and Jaemin groaned. “When I gave consent to watch another movie, I didn’t mean for you to pick a horror one.” He whined.

 

“Calm down, it’ll be okay. I’ll protect you squirt.”

 

“Yeah right, last time I ran out of the bathroom because I thought I saw a ghost there you just smacked the back of my head before calling me a wimp and saying that there was nothing there!” Baekhyun gasped.

 

“Did not!”

 

“Oh you did too! Don’t deny it, you prick!”

 

“I did not! Why would I ever hit you?”

 

“Don’t ask me! You were the one that did it.” Jaemin folded his arms across his chest. Baek pouted and rested his chin on Jaemin’s shoulder.

 

“Forgive me then?” He asked in a cute voice.

 

“No. Get off me and start the movie.”

 

“Fine, then don’t cling to me if you get scared.” Baek started the movie and Jaemin curled up into a little ball, glancing at his best friend every once in awhile.

 

“I won’t get scared.” Jaemin muttered. Unfortunately, he _did_ get scared and nearly shrieked his ass off. He clung onto Baekhyun tightly like a monkey and instead of shoving him off Baekhyun simply held him closer. Jaemin forgot that Baekhyun was only wearing a simple cloth over himself, but just that once he didn’t mind. Finally when the movie was over, Jaemin got off of Baekhyun, apologising. “I think I’m going to have nightmares again.”

 

“Aww. I’m sorry Jaemin. Maybe we shouldn’t have watched that movie then…”

 

“No it’s okay, I’ll live.” Jaemin sighed, rubbing his eyes. “It’s really early. Do you wanna watch another movie?”

 

“Alright. What do you wanna watch?”

 

“Anything that isn’t horror.”

 

“Okay. But first, how about we take a ten minute break before doing that?” He suggested.

 

“Sure..” Baekhyun smiled and rubbed the younger’s back, before leaning against him. Jaemin stiffened, not moving.

 

“Relax, I’m not going to do anything.” Baekhyun said in a soothing honey laden voice that made Jaemin’s insides simply melt. _Yeah, you may say that, but I would really love it if you slowly took off my onesie and-_ Jaemin flushed and felt his entire body grow hot and uncomfortable. He really had to keep his inappropriate thoughts in check. _Though that wasn’t really as inappropriate as it was sexy and something I’d really, really, really love to have happen. If only he knew…_ Jaemin sighed shakily before standing up.

 

“I’m going to go to the bathroom.” He muttered before leaving Baekhyun sitting on the couch. Jaemin sighed against the door after he turned on the lights and locked it behind him. He daydreamed for a bit, before standing up and ridding himself of all the shitty daydreams and washing his face. He opened the door and was surprised to find to find Baekhyun there.

 

“Gotta go.” Jaemin swiftly moved aside and let Baekhyun go. Shaking his head, he went back to the sitting room, only to find that Baekhyun had picked out a movie he really didn’t expect for them to watch.

 

“You seriously picked _Fifty Shades of Grey_ for us to watch?!” Jaemin exclaimed as soon as Baekhyun got out.

 

“What? Ew, no! I would never, what the hell?” Baekhyun grabbed the laptop and picked a different movie.

 

“But Baekhyun I haven’t seen that movie! Like at all!” Jaemin whined, tugging on Baekhyun’s onesie sleeve.

 

“Too bad, we’re not going to watch that nasty shit. Watch it on your time.”

 

“You never let me watch things I want to watch.” Jaemin muttered, dropping onto the couch.

 

“I do too! Now that’s a lie Jaemin, I literally just let you watch the Princess Diaries for the umpteenth time!”

 

“Yeah, and you already chose a movie to watch, which was horror, so now it’s my turn!”

 

“You can be such a baby sometimes…” Baekhyun said, tone irritated as he went back to _Fifty Shades_ and pressed play. “Happy?”

 

“Yes, thank you.” Jaemin smiled and Baek rolled his eyes before shoving his laptop away. Halfway through, Baekhyun got so bored that he ended up falling asleep, head on Jaemin’s shoulder. Jaemin didn’t mind and continued to watch the movie. When it got too sexual, he clung onto Baekhyun’s arm, accidentally waking him up. Baekhyun took one look at the screen and pulled the hoodie of his onesie over his head and buried his face into Jaemin’s chest. Jaemin’s heart was beating wildly and no matter how much he tried to calm it, it would not settle down. Baekhyun ignored it and fell asleep again, an arm snaking around Jaemin’s waist. Soon the movie ended and Jaemin sat there, Baekhyun draped over him. Jaemin turned the TV off and tried to pick up Baekhyun but failed. He continued trying, and finally was able to drag him to his room where he put his best friend down on the bed as gently as he could and he crawled into the bed with him.

 

Jaemin realised what he was doing and then got off the bed quickly, closing the door shut. His heart was racing again, and even though he really wanted to sleep with Baekhyun, he wouldn’t do it. It wasn’t right. Jaemin waddled over to his own room and closed the door, flopping onto his bed. He checked the time and found it was only nine pm. Sighing, he looked around his room, wondering what to do. An idea came to him, and he glanced at the door. Getting up, he locked it, before pulling out his phone. Hesitantly, he typed in the site, plugged in his headphones, and then spent the next ten minutes doing something he’d only done a couple times before, but always felt pleased, relieved and relaxed after doing it.

 

*~*~*

 

When Jaemin woke up the next morning and walked into the kitchen, Baekhyun’s door was wide open. Jaemin peeked in and found it empty, which only meant that he was probably out with his friends. Jaemin checked the time. It was well past noon. He’d stayed up long into the night, and exhausted himself, but he was able to sleep quite peacefully. Though he would’ve liked if Baekhyun… _NO. Stop thinking those things, they’re never going to happen._ Jaemin thought before shuffling to the small fridge and opening it. Jaemin made himself an omelette and toast with jelly and while he ate, he thought about Baekhyun. Honestly, there was practically never a time that never thought about the boy. Every single minute of the was he occupied with thoughts of just Baekhyun. But today, he was being serious in his thoughts and tried to figure out something important from them.

 

_Do I lust after Baekhyun?_ Jaemin wondered. He pondered about it. Sure, Jaemin would _really_ like to screw him, but other than that… Baekhyun was a sweetheart. Jaemin really only fell for him in his second year of high school. He’d met him during the first year, when he was being bullied for something he couldn’t really remember. Why? Because Baekhyun was the one who stopped the fight from continuing. He was the one who helped out Jaemin that day, that fateful, beautiful day that Jaemin laid eyes on a complete dork who had a crappy haircut. Baekhyun had always been a year older than Jaemin, but that meant nothing to him. It was just Baekhyun’s act of kindness that made Jaemin first like the boy.

 

Afterwards, they didn’t really hang around, but there was something about Baekhyun that Jaemin liked a lot. He didn’t know what it was until Jaemin was saved from being abused by a bunch of stragglers in the streets of Seoul by none other than Baekhyun and a couple of his friends. It was that night that Baekhyun also invited Jaemin to hang with them, and Jaemin accepted the invitation without a moment’s hesitation.

 

Ever since then, the two became the best of friends. They did a lot of things together, talked a lot, Jaemin even convinced Baekhyun to cut his hair and sometime after that day, Jaemin just fell for Baekhyun. Hook, line and sinker. Everything, or most of everything that Jaemin did was run through by Baekhyun beforehand. And as much as Jaemin desired Baekhyun, he knew that he couldn’t have him, because he wasn’t gay. But at the same time, he didn’t know how Baekhyun felt about him. Did Baekhyun like him… maybe secretly.. A little more than a friend? Anything was possible. Jaemin liked to daydream a lot about Baekhyun, what it’d be like to date him, to be his boyfriend, maybe even possibly marry him. It was crazy, and once while imagining all this, Jaemin scolded himself, and told himself to not be so clingy like a girl, before saying that being clingy wasn’t such a bad thing. He confused himself sometimes.

 

Jaemin spent his day doodling away in his notebook while blasting Babymetal through his laptop. He took one look at his homework from his classes and tossed them aside, saying that he’d do it tomorrow. Most times his Saturday’s were boring, and without Baekhyun, they could sometimes be the worst. Today wasn’t an exception. Jaemin wasn’t totally bored, he watched some Korean dramas, a few episodes of anime, ate, took a three hour nap, went out for a walk since it was a bright sunny day and then realised that Valentine’s Day was in two weeks. He wondered if Baekhyun had any plans. Not wanting to seem too eager, Jaemin decided to ask him later in the week.

 

The rest of the weekend passed by with the two working on their homework for most of Sunday, bickering over what to order for takeout since they both were lazy to cook, Baekhyun complaining about work the next morning (he had a shift from 7:45am to noon, just an hour before his afternoon classes began), and Jaemin said that he should be thankful that his job gave him just a little more than the minimum wage compared to Jaemin’s job that he had shifts of Monday through Thursday in the evenings. When the two had first gotten the jobs, they compared their salaries and Baekhyun found that he was getting more won than Jaemin which Jaemin whined was unfair, but Baekhyun reasoned that it’d be enough to pay for the apartment, plus some other things.

 

Sunday night though, Jaemin had nightmares and couldn’t sleep for the rest of the night, much to his displeasure. “I can’t believe I have to go to class looking like a goddamn panda.” He said to the mirror. Baek had already left for work, and Jaemin woke up an hour later, with only two hours of sleep. His schedule was weird, as he had two morning classes, then an hour and a half break, before his afternoon classes began, which were also two. He prayed that no one would pick at him for having dark circles under his eyes, so he put on his hoodie and then dark jeans, before grabbing his things and leaving the apartment after locking it.

 

Another uneventful day waited ahead of him, and almost as soon as he stepped onto the campus Jaemin wanted to go home and sleep. But instead, he dragged himself to his first class and focused on trying not to doze off. What a drag.


	2. Chapter 2

Butterfly  
Chapter Two.

Baekhyun had no idea who the hell was stuffing notes, flowers and other cheesy things into his bag for the entire week. He asked his girlfriend, Mina, if it was her, but she denied it. Baekhyun thought it was the weirdest thing, because he knew he didn’t like anyone else other than Mina, and he knew that no one else really liked him enough to put notes, flowers, cookies and a bunch of other things into his bag. He shared the cookies with his friends and Mina but didn't know what to do with the notes and flowers and candies. In the end, he gave the candies out to random students, along with the flowers and the notes he kept to himself.

When he got to his apartment, he went to his room and read all of the notes. They were all quite cute, some even making him blush. Thinking that it was just some youngster that’d caught a liking to him, he tossed them onto his bed before swiftly taking off his shirt and then heading to the bathroom to shower.

Upon getting out, he saw Jaemin sitting in the living room, twiddling his fingers, staring at the wall. Baekhyun tightened the towel around his waist before quietly walking behind his best friend, who hung his head and ran his hand through his hair, obviously stressed out.

Jaemin leaned back on the couch and Baekhyun took this chance to stand directly above him and he rested his chin on Jaemin’s head. “What’s up squirt?” Baekhyun asked quietly and Jaemin jerked forward, Baekhyun almost crashing his chin onto the couch.

“Oh! Hey, I didn’t… didn’t…” Jaemin faltered when he turned around to look at Baekhyun up and down.

Baekhyun raised an eyebrow. “Didn’t what?” He asked. Jaemin’s mouth was half open, and he was staring at Baekhyun’s chest, unable to speak.

Baekhyun waved a hand in Jaemin’s face and only then did Jaemin shake his head and reply. “S-sorry. I was g-going to say th-at I didn’t e-expect t-to see you a-at home a-already.” Jaemin cleared his throat. “Aren’t you gonna change?”

“Oh, yeah, right,” Baekhyun muttered before ruffling Jaemin’s hair and then going to his room to put on boxers, shorts and a loose fitting shirt. “So how was today?” Baekhyun asked, walking out of his room and sitting next to Jaemin.

“It was… good. Surprisingly. No one made fun of me today, which I thought was strange but I was thankful for it anyways.” Jaemin answered.

“That's good!” Baekhyun said cheerfully. “I'm glad about that. You don't deserve any hate or bullying.” he smiled and ruffled Jaemin’s hair again. Jaemin nodded, turning pink. “You looked stressed out earlier though, what happened?”

“O-oh nothing, I was just thinking about class..” Baekhyun raised an eyebrow before shrugging.

“Did your week go well?” He asked instead, laying down on the couch, head next to Jaemin’s thighs. “I should’ve asked that instead of asking about your day.”

“I-it was f-fine.” Jaemin answered. “You already asked if the day was good everyday, so you already know the answer to that.. I guess.” Baekhyun scrunched his nose when Jaemin poked it, and then he sighed.

“I’m so bored. I don’t know what to do. I feel like I never know what to do on Fridays.” Baekhyun said. He lifted his head and put it on Jaemin’s thights before turning his head towards his gut. Jaemin’s breath hitched and he almost let out a whimper but he caught himself before he could do anything. “I’ll just take a nap here. You make a great pillow.” Baekhyun mumbled, getting more comfortable and wrapping one arm around Jaemin’s lower back. This time Jaemin did let out a noise, his hands up in the air not touching Baekhyun.

“Even if I make a great pillow, isn’t it really uncomfortable?” Jaemin asked.

“A little, but it’s fine. Don’t move too much, let me nap.” Baekhyun replied and Jaemin sighed.

“I haven’t even eatennnnn,” he whined, pouting now. Baekhyun didn’t say anything before getting up.

“Go get something quick then. And don’t move when you come back!” Jaemin rolled his eyes before getting up and going to the kitchen. Baekhyun waited for him, sighing and grumbling a little. Jaemin finally came and Baekhyun sat up straight, happy.

“I have a sandwich.” Jaemin said taking a bite. “Wanf sum?”

Baekhyun shook his head, patting the seat next to him. “Sit down.” Jaemin did so and Baekhyun immediately put his head back on Jaemin’s thighs, his head facing the younger’s gut again. Jaemin tried his best to focus on the sandwich in front of him but he wasn’t fully able to. Baekhyun was really distracting, even if all he was doing was just taking a nap.

Jaemin was going to have to ask him if he was going to do something for Valentine’s day soon. It was tomorrow anyways. But he didn’t know if Baekhyun would be willing to do something, he seemed to have a date with his girlfriend Mina.

Jaemin stared at his roommate and best friend, who looked absolutely adorable napping right at that moment. A trembling hand hovered over his head and it clenched into a fist before opening and Jaemin began to stroke Baekhyun’s head, moving the hair out of his face. Baekhyun didn’t move for a good minute, but then he did and Jaemin could’ve sworn he heard a purr come from him as he got closer to Jaemin’s crotch, making Jaemin whimper. He was going to _die_ if this continued any more.

An hour passed and Jaemin had managed to doze off but Baekhyun woke up making Jaemin wake up himself. “Ah… what the..? Oh.. you’re awake.” Jaemin mumbled, rubbing his eyes.

“Go back to sleep, I was just going to go to the bathroom anyways.” Baekhyun said, getting up and stretching. Jaemin saw his squishy tummy and the urge to poke it was strong but he resisted. Baekhyun sauntered off and Jaemin curled up into a ball on the sofa, facing away from the coffee table, inhaling the musty but still somewhat nice scent of the sofa. A couple minutes later, Jaemin felt a slight dip before being engulfed in absolute warmth, making him sink further into the sofa.

Baekhyun was on top of him, making it a little hard for Jaemin to breathe, but he shifted them a bit and suddenly everything was perfectly fine.

The two slept the afternoon away, waking up right before dinnertime. While they ate some leftovers, Jaemin couldn’t stop fidgeting and Baekhyun noticed but he didn’t say anything at first until it started to worry him. He put a hand on Jaemin’s thigh and Jaemin jumped, startled. “Is there something wrong Jaeminnie?” Baekhyun asked. _Yes._ Jaemin thought. _You’re not going to be my Valentine’s Day date for tomorrow! For the fifth fucking year in a row! Asshole…_

“O-oh nothing… Well I was just curious… what are you going to do tomorrow?” He asked tentatively.

“Me? I have a date with Mina, remember? I told you at the beginning of this week. It’s in the evening though, so I can spend the morning with you, if you’d like.” Baekhyun replied.

Jaemin straightened after hearing this. “Really? I mean.. that would be nice, yeah. I don’t know what we could do though…” _That’s false. I have a perfect idea for what we could do tomorrow and it involves you, me, the bed, and-_

“We could go out, maybe hang out at the park?” Baekhyun suggested, interrupting Jaemin’s unholy thoughts, making him turn pink.

“O-oh yeah, for sure. We c-could totally do that.” Jaemin agreed.

Baekhyun smiled, patting his thigh. “Sounds like a plan then.”

The night passed with jaemin panicking about the next day. He was both nervous and extremely excited. A date. This was considered a _date_ , unintentional as it was, but Jaemin didn’t care about that. He was going to go on a fucking _date_ with the love of his life! What more could he ask for? Absolutely no- _Ah… well I mean, wouldn’t a kiss be nice?_ A voice said in Jaemin’s head and he blushed, burying his face into the pillow next to him. Embarrassed slightly, he pulled the covers completely over him, curling up into a tiny ball, wishing and dreaming that Baekhyun was either behind or in front of him, encasing him in his arms.

“Wake up Jaemin!!!” Baekhyun smacked his best friend with a pillow and Jaemin woke up, startled.

“Hey, you asshole!” He cried out. “Don’t do that again… wake me up properly instead!”

“What the hell is “properly” to you, squirt?” Baekhyun said dramatically, using finger quotes as well.

“Nicely! Not smacking me with a fucking pillow!” He said, sitting up. Baekhyun stood there, on his bed, unmoving, before smothering his roommate and then running off, laughing loudly. “You asshole!”

 

The two were at the park, Jaemin being unable to take his eyes off of Baekhyun who looked absolutely delicious. Having a leather jacket with tight leather pants was _not_ how he wanted to spend a day with his best friend. He wished that Baekhyun had put on something more loose than this, just so he wouldn’t have to get so distracted by just how _good_ his legs and ass looked.

For the most part though, Baekhyun kept Jaemin distracted by talking, offering to get him things, before he realised that they hadn’t eaten at all. So the two went to a diner, sitting down at a booth, ordering brunch. As Baekhyun was listening to Jaemin, his eyes landed on a woman who was curvy and really quite voluptuous. She was taking a seat with her friend a couple booths away, and Baekhyun wanted to go over there and talk but he didn’t know how. Instead, he interrupted Jaemin. “Hey.. Min, you see that girl over there? Behind you.” He pointed with his fork at the girl who smiled brightly. “She looks mighty fine, doesn’t she?”

Jaemin looked to where Baekhyun had pointed and he felt his heart sink, both for himself and Mina. Baekhyun wasn’t always a player, but whenever he did see a girl he caught a slight liking for, he’d drop whoever he was dating and go after that girl. “She does, yeah, but… you can’t forget about Mina…”

“Ah, right. You have a good point.” Baekhyun said, nodding. Even so, when they were leaving Baekhyun slipped into the girl’s booth, sitting next to the curvy one’s friend. “Hello ladies.”

“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god I c-can’t-” The curvy one’s friend began to hyperventilate, tears forming into her eyes.

“Wow, I didn’t know I caused such a reaction upon-” The girl pushed Baekhyun out of the booth before running to the bathroom, utensils clattering as she left.

“Ah… I apologise for my friend. She sometimes has a little problems with some things, don’t worry about it. I’ll just go see her though, see if she’s okay.” The curvy one said, excusing herself. She went after her friend slowly and Baekhyun sat there, confused. The girl came back, a grim look on her face that disappeared when she sat back down.

“Is.. your friend okay?”

“Oh yes. She’ll come back in ten minutes or so, she just needs to breathe. No need to worry.” She smiled warmly and Baekhyun smiled back. The two talked for a bit, and it was a little awkward, but either way, Baekhyun didn’t hesitate to write his number for Clarissa. She and her friend Stella were living in Seoul for a year which Baekhyun thought was nice. When Stella came, Baekhyun took his leave and he tried to leave but Stella couldn’t look at him. Clarissa waved goodbye to Baekhyun and he left the diner. He’d completely forgotten about Jaemin, who’d left. Only when Baekhyun walked back to his apartment and found Jaemin sitting on the couch, watching TV with a blank look on his face.

“Oh… Hey Jaemin, I didn’t realise you’d left.” Baekhyun remarked, taking off his jacket. Jaemin didn’t reply. Baekhyun went to his room to change before coming back and sitting next to Jaemin, an arm going around the younger’s shoulders. Jaemin let it stay there for a minute and as Baekhyun opened his mouth to ask Jaemin something, he got up, going to his room and slamming the door shut. Baekhyun’s brows furrowed, wondering what happened. Shrugging it off, Baekhyun watched TV until he dozed off.

 

A couple hours later he was woken up by noises from the kitchen. Groggily getting up, Baekhyun stumbled to the kitchen, yawning and stretching. “Hey Jaemin… what are you doing?” he asked. No reply. “Jae-”

“Don’t you have a date to get to?” Jaemin interrupted, venom in his voice.

“Wha… Oh! Mina! Shit…” Baekhyun ran to the bathroom, splashing his face with cold water, drying his face before going to his room to change again. “Thank you Jaemin! I’ll see you later… maybe.” Baekhyun called out as he left. The door slammed shut as did the drawer for utensils in the kitchen.

“You are one motherfucking asshole Baekhyun, and I can’t believe I actually fell for you!” Jaemin yelled before storming to his room.

The night passed and Jaemin was miserable, angry and a little depressed. He was asleep though, when Baekhyun came back from his date. He went to Jaemin’s room, finding his roommate fast asleep. Baekhyun smiled softly, kissing his temple before leaving for his room.

Jaemin didn’t speak to Baekhyun at all the next morning, but for the most part he couldn’t, since Baekhyun was out with his friends. Jaemin was still boiling from the events of the day before.

_Why doesn’t he understand? Why is he so dense? Why is he so blind? Why can’t he get the fact that he was dating someone but still thinks that he can fucking flirt with some other girl!? Why can’t he understand the fact that I’m in **love** with him?!_ Jaemin paced in the apartment, angry. Just when Baekhyun came and he tried to talk to Jaemin again, the younger one left the apartment.

“Jaemin! Jaemin, wait!” But the door slammed shut in his face. Baekhyun was confused. What happened to his best friend? Why was he suddenly ignoring him? What had he done wrong? Baekhyun couldn’t understand his actions whatsoever so he decided he would wait for Jaemin to come home.

Jaemin made his way to a bar, to drink his stupid feelings away. He got pretty drunk and normally would’ve gone to the dance floor and danced his ass off, but today… He wasn’t in the mood. Not even when his favourite song played loud, bass pumping along with his heartbeat. He looked around, eyes sweeping past a young man with bronze skin as he began to drink but then he looked back at the man, surprised. The young man had a sharp jawline, his lips seemingly naturally pouty, skin that was bronze and so beautiful it seemed to light up the room. He had on a black button up which had the first couple of buttons at his neck unbuttoned, showing a hint of protruding collarbones and he had on dark skinny jeans. When he turned slightly, Jaemin got a look at his ass and the drink that was in his mouth spilled out, but he didn’t care.

Whoever this man was, Jaemin wanted to get in his pants immediately.

To his surprise, the man came over to him, taking the seat next to him and he ordered a drink. Jaemin couldn’t keep his eyes off of him, but when the man turned his head slightly in Jaemin’s direction, Jaemin averted his eyes, going back to his drink. His phone, which was on the counter, lit up just then, vibrating. He looked at the screen and saw the picture of Baekhyun looking as adorable as always, trying to be aggressive looking though. Jaemin took a breath, ignoring the call, and drinking away.

“Is that.. Your boyfriend?” Jaemin nearly choked after he heard that. He looked up to find the bronze skinned beauty looking at him curiously.

Jaemin wiped his mouth before replying. “No… not boyfriend, just… just my best friend and roommate.”

“Oh… He’s pretty cute. I would kiss that face.” Jaemin couldn’t believe his ears.

“Y-you w-would? I mean.. y-yeah I-I… I would too, if I’m going to be honest…” Jaemin trailed off, finishing his drink. “The reality is… that I would totally… suck his dick.” he announced, his face growing hot, but he stared at the man head on.

“Really? For free?” He asked.

“Yeah, w-why not? I’ve wanted to for years now but…”

“Let me guess, he has no idea you’re gay?” Jaemin shook his head.

“The ass thinks I’m as straight as a stick when I’m more like a rubber band. He has no idea that I’m gay, he just thinks that I’d rather focus on my education than getting a girlfriend.” Jaemin said the last word with a little disgust. “Honestly, I would just… totally, completely suck his dick, no hesitation.” The other man laughed out loud and Jaemin couldn’t help a smile from coming onto his face.

“That’s wild, but I love the way you think. I’d do the same but maybe not to him…” He trailed off, looking seriously at Jaemin, and his smile faded. “Anyways, I’m Jongin, Kim Jongin.” He held out his hand and Jaemin took it.

“Nice hand. You use it for-”

“Yup.” Jongin said immediately, grinning.

“I’m Jaemin. Lee Jaemin. Nice to meet you.”

“You as well.” Jongin’s drink came and Jaemin ordered another for himself. Jongin waited politely for it to come and the two clinked their glasses together, downing the drinks, before they began to talk more and Jaemin spilled just a little too much about himself and his unrequited relationship with Byun Baekhyun. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More to come soon~ :)


	3. Chapter 3

Butterfly  
Chapter Three.

Baekhyun was a nervous wreck. He called and texted countlessly but received no response from him. It’d been fine in the first couple hours, he knew that Jaemin would come back soon. But when midnight came and went and the hours turned into morning, Baekhyun had no idea where his best friend was.

Soon, at around 3:24am, just as Baekhyun was about to leave the apartment to look for Jaemin, Jaemin came. He burst through the door, Jongin carrying him in and Baekhyun was right in front of them. He blinked, shocked. “J…Jaemin?” He said uncertainly. Jaemin had his lips locked with Jongin, but when Baekhyun spoke, Jaemin broke away, looking at his best friend.

Jongin set him down and Jaemin smiled widely. “Hello!” He said a little too loudly and Baekhyun winced. “Surprised to see me? After so long? How long has it been?”

“Only a couple of hours…” Baekhyun answered quietly.

“A couple of hours! Really now? My, my, does time slip by fast!” Jaemin stumbled and both Jongin and Baekhyun rushed to catch him, Baekhyun getting there first. Jongin, even though he was a little drunk, the alcohol seemed to be wearing off a little and he stepped back from Jaemin and Baekhyun, who was glaring at the stranger. “Oh thank you..” Jaemin shoved Baekhyun away though, brushing himself off. “I thought I was gone for days! It felt like it, to me anyways. Whatever, I’m home now! So you don’t have to call me or worry any further about me and my condition.” Jaemin smiled cheekily and Baekhyun stayed silent, staring at his best friend.

“Why… if I may ask, did you have your lips on that man’s…?” Baekhyun asked slowly.

“What? Oh! I kissed him.” Jaemin turned towards Jongin, smiling dazedly. “He has very nice lips, did you know?”

“But… why? Why’d you kiss him..? And why did you even bring a man? I… I expected, well if my notions had been correct, which I’m assuming they are, I expected you to bring a girl from the bar… Not a man.”

“Well, it looks like you’re fucking wrong Byun Baekhyun.” Jaemin spat. “I.” He walked up to Baekhyun who took a step back, surprised. “Don’t.” One step forward, another step back. “Like.” And again. “Girls.” Baekhyun’s back was up against a wall now, Jaemin, even though short, making him shrink a little as he glared at the older man. “I don’t hate them.. not at all, I think girls are great, and I feel that they could totally change the world. But I don’t like them. I’m not interested in them, I never have been.

“I, Lee Jaemin, am interested in boys. Men. Dicks. Cocks, whatever! I like boys. Boys are cute. They’re not as crazy and erratic as girls in relationships. They’re pretty chill for the most part, and I can understand them pretty well since they’re like an open book. But… There is one person, one man, out of them all, whom I don’t get.” Jaemin had been looking away but he turned back to Baekhyun, getting up in his face. Baekhyun’s nose wrinkled from the strong stench of alcohol, but he stared right back at Jaemin, his heart racing. “It’s you. You, Mr. Byun Baekhyun! My best friend, my roommate, the man I’ve lived with for so many years! I don’t understand you. Why is it so fucking hard to get into your thick skull about the fact that I like you? Haven’t I given enough hints, or do I have to rip your pants down and suck your dick to let you know? I’ve had a giant crush on your for years, you asshole. But your response was to date girl after girl after girl! Why? Why date girls? They’re stereotyped to be in kitchens and to be housewives, which I think is really fucking stupid, but that doesn’t matter. How can people find them interesting, when it comes to relationship? They all want the same fucking thing, they’re no fun, they’re all just boring! Take Mina for example. Mina, she’s pretty, but I totally think that she would be better dating someone else. I mean, look at you and look at her! She’s totally out of your league, I mean,” Jaemin laughed humourlessly. “You’re a player! Just yesterday were you fucking flirting with some other bitch, on the day where you knew you had a date later on, with Mina!” Jaemin shook his head. “You’re a shameful man Baekhyun, a very shame-” Jaemin was cut off by a sharp slap across his face, a slap that made him fall onto the ground.

“Jaemin!” Jongin cried out, running over to him.

“Get the fuck out.” Baekhyun said in a voice full of venom.

“You asshole you can’t just-”

“I said get out! I don’t want either of you disgusting bastards in my presence anymore! Contaminating my fucking apartment, get out!” All Baekhyun could see was red as he shoved Jaemin and Jongin out of his apartment.

“You!” Jaemin yelled, pushing Jongin off of him and getting up. “You are such a fucking asshole! Who the hell do you think you are, huh? ‘Contaminating my apartment.’” Jaemin mocked. “I could say the same about you! You’re contaminating my apartment! You and your fucking arrogant ass self, who the _fuck_ do you think you are? I’ll have you know that-”

Baekhyun punched Jaemin’s nose, silencing him. Blood poured out and Jongin cried out. “Shut the fuck up, and get the fuck out of my living space.” He hissed. Jongin didn’t hesitate, helping Jaemin out of the apartment hurriedly.

“Jaemin, are you okay?” Jongin asked as soon as the door closed shut.

“Yeah… I’m bleeding though, aren’t I?” Jaemin asked. “I feel something warm on that space above my lip.”

“The philtrum, yes, you’re bleeding. Hold on, let’s get out of here. Can you use your sleeve to stop the blood?” Jongin asked worriedly. Jaemin nodded, taking off his jacket and doing as told. Jongin helped Jaemin into his car and then drove him to his own apartment. Jaemin stumbled his way inside and Jongin kept silent, helping him out as much as he could. Finally, when Jaemin was cleaned up and resting on the couch, Jongin changed into sweats and a loose shirt, going to his room. “Call out if you need anything, okay?”

Jongin opened the door to his room and was about to enter when Jaemin called him back. “J-jongin?” Jongin stopped, looking back. “C-can I… can I sleep with you?”

Jongin blinked, surprised. “S-sure, if you want to.” Jongin helped Jaemin to his room where he curled up onto the bed. Jaemin was sobering up now, and he still somehow remembered the events that’d just happened. He never thought his best friend would turn against him, but it seemed that he was wrong. In pain, both physically and emotionally, Jaemin couldn’t help himself from crying about it all. He expected his best friend to be supportive, even though he came out the way he didn’t necessarily plan to. He’d ruined everything, but Baekhyun had added more fuel to the little sparks that Jaemin created. He loved Baekhyun and Baekhyun had always been supportive of him… _Not anymore I guess_. Jaemin thought, crying harder now.

Baekhyun paced around his living room, unable to sleep. He didn’t know that Jaemin was gay, he was so stupid for always thinking that he liked girls when that wasn’t the case at all. He regretted his actions and anger, sitting down on the couch, face in his hands. _What the hell have I done? How can I fix this? Jaemin’s my best friend, we promised each other to be there for each other through thick and thin… But I just ruined everything between us. He’s just a human being! There’s nothing wrong with him at all! Why did I act the way I did?_ Baekhyun thought, frustrated with himself. He didn’t know when Jaemin would come back, if he planned on it anyways. Baekhyun had to apologise to him, and apologise fast. He didn’t want to lose his best friend, he adored him so much.

Baekhyun spent most of the early hours of the morning thinking and attempting to come up with a plan, but being unsuccessful. He realised that he soon had to go to work and then classes but he didn’t think he’d be able to make it, not when he hadn’t slept a wink. He called his boss, letting them know that he wouldn’t be able to show up, because he was sleep deprived. His boss took pity on him, allowing him to take a day off. Grateful but still worried about Jaemin, Baekhyun lay down on the couch, still thinking, trying to figure out ways to apologise to Jaemin. Eventually, Baekhyun dozed off, upper body half off the couch.

A couple hours later, Jaemin was back at his and Baekhyun’s apartment, trying to reassure Jongin that he would be fine. “I’ve lost all trust in that man, he punched you so hard last night! I’m never going to forgive him, and you shouldn’t either Jaemin.” Jongin said as they walked upstairs.

“Please Jongin, don’t worry. Baekhyun… he’s had moments like this, never with me, but with others. It’s okay, really. Go home, I’ll be fine.” The two finally reached the apartment room and Jaemin unlocked it. He peeked in and found Baekhyun nearly falling off the couch. “Oh no!” Jaemin rushed over and set Baekhyun properly onto the couch. “He’s got bags under his eyes and he’s pale… I don’t think he slept at all.” Jaemin murmured, looking sad. He moved hair out of Baekhyun’s face, looking at him fondly. The truth was, Jaemin was relieved that Baekhyun was asleep and he was worried about what would happen when he woke up. He hoped that nothing bad would happen.

“I really can’t believe you Jaemin…”

“It’s alright.” Jaemin replied. “Go home, I’ll be fine. If anything happens, I’ll definitely call to let you know, okay? Go now, I’m okay, trust me.” Jongin protested but Jaemin convinced him to finally leave.

The apartment was silent as Jaemin studied away, finishing his homework, but knowing that he had more stuff from today, since he missed all his classes. Every hour, he went to the living room to check on Baekhyun who barely moved. Hours passed and Baekhyun didn’t wake up and Jaemin grew concerned, even though he knew that he was still alive.

Jaemin was watching TV when Baekhyun woke up. Jaemin was giggling at something that was happening and Baekhyun lifted his head up, looking around and was surprised to find Jaemin at the foot of the couch, sitting and giggling. He rested his head back down, watching Jaemin giggle away and a soft smile appeared on his face. He was precious. He was his best friend, he was human. When an advertisement came, Jaemin turned and found Baekhyun looking at him and he yelped, falling back.

Baekhyun’s eyes widened and he sat up, looking worried. “Are you okay?” He asked.

“Y-yeah… W-when did you w-wake u-up?” Jaemin asked.

“Just a little while ago… What time is it?” Baekhyun rubbed his eyes and Jaemin checked his phone.

“10:27pm…” Jaemin said, looking back up at Baekhyun.

“Oh. Damn… I slept for like fourteen hours or something…” Baekhyun muttered, standing up shakily and stretching. “God… fuck my body’s so stiff…” He spent the next two minutes stretching and loosening his muscles, aware that Jaemin was watching. When he felt better Baekhyun looked down at Jaemin, face serious. “I’m.. surprised to find you back. I… well, after the events… I expected you to stay wherever it was you stayed.”

“I… I was going to… But then I realised that I had things leftover… so I came back and..” Jaemin spread out his arms. “Here I am.” Baekhyun nodded, now unsure of what to say.

He sighed, sitting down across from Jaemin. He wanted to put a comforting hand on his best friend’s knee, but instead he clasped his hands together. “I… I just want to apologise. I… I reacted horribly, in a way that I know you’re never going to forgive me for. I’m really sorry.. I don’t know why I was so mad but I was and I… I regret it. I’m sorry for slapping and punching you, are you… are you alright?”

“It still hurts… a lot, but I’ll be okay.” Jaemin replied.

Baekhyun looked down, fiddling with his hands. “I’m sorry, I really am. I don’t know how else more I can apologise other than like this…” He sighed shakily. “I’m sorry, I’m so very sorry.”

“It’s okay… I think it’ll take a while for me to forgive you, but I accept your apology.”

“R-really?” Baekhyun was surprised. Jaemin nodded.

“You’re my best friend, I know you didn’t mean what you said.”

“Of course not.” Baekhyun replied immediately. “I said it out of anger, and I don’t know why I was mad… Maybe because you left without telling me and didn’t return any of my calls or texts… I worry about you.” He smiled sadly at him.

“I understand. I should’ve said something… but either way, it’s in the past.” He stood and ruffled Baekhyun’s hair. “Let’s not dwell on it any further, okay?” Baekhyun nodded, before standing up himself.

Days passed and Baekhyun broke up with Mina. Or rather, she broke up with him, saying that she wasn’t interested in him much anymore. Baekhyun understood and let her go on her own way. He was extra relenting, gentle and nice with Jaemin for the next couple weeks and Jaemin was pretty happy about it. In fact, he ended up being a little too happy about it. Too much that on Saturday night, he had a surprised Baekhyun pinned up against the wall, as he was walking to his room.

“I don’t think you realised… or remembered the night when I came out to you, that I said things along the lines of you being confusing to me, meant that I had feelings for you.” Jaemin said softly.

“W-what? Y-y-you-”

“Just as I thought. Well you know now, don’t you?”

Baekhyun blinked. “I-I s-suppose…?” He squeaked. “H-how long-”

“Far too long. I think maybe after about a year after I met you.”

“Th-that long? I d-don’t know w-what to s-s-say…” Jaemin cut him off again by pressing his body against Baekhyun’s.

Baekhyun was incredibly soft, and Jaemin practically melted but he held strong. “Do you know of all the things I could do to you? Do you have any idea of what I want to do to you? I can think of at least fifty things right now.” Jaemin whispered hotly. He pulled Baekhyun’s head down, noses almost touching, his eyes never leaving Baekhyun’s. “What do you say we give the first one a try?” He asked.

Baekhyun was surprised, a little bit uncomfortable but also very intrigued. He didn’t know what to say but he must have nodded slightly or something, for the next thing he knew was that Jaemin’s lips were on his.

Soft was the first thing Baekhyun could acknowledge. The next things he acknowledged was practically everything else, everything he was feeling at that moment. It was as if all his other senses had disappeared except for touch, the current most prominent of his senses. Jaemin broke away, only two inches away from Baekhyun’s face. The two were panting a little, not too harshly, and Jaemin was looking down, shy, Baekhyun himself unable to look away from Jaemin.

Neither of them knew what exactly happened next. Jaemin’s lips wouldn’t leave Baekhyun’s and Baekhyun’s wouldn’t leave Jaemin’s. Somehow, the two managed to find themselves in Baekhyun’s room, Baekhyun falling onto the bed and Jaemin getting on top of him. “I’ve been waiting for this moment for so long, Baekhyun…” Jaemin breathed against his best friend’s lips. Baekhyun was about to say something but Jaemin shut him up before he could. Fingers roamed all over the place, sighs escaped from both boys and a couple whimpers left Baekhyun.

Baekhyun wrestled off Jaemin’s shirt and Jaemin did the same and almost immediately Jaemin pounced, kissing Baekhyun’s neck and looking for the perfect spot. Baekhyun let out a noise of surprise, neck arching back, fingers digging into Jaemin’s back. He honestly hadn’t expected this side of Jaemin, at all. He knew that Jaemin was a shy boy, one who wouldn’t do things without someone assuring him at least ten times that it was okay. Jaemin was the person who would keep to himself at parties, the person who’d rather stay inside on a winter night than play in the snow with his friends. But Jaemin now? A complete surprise, and one that Baekhyun was secretly excited to unravel - if he could.

But Baekhyun then realised what was happening and he didn’t want it anymore. As Jaemin tried to take off his pants, Baekhyun stopped him. “J-Jaemin… wait.”

Jaemin stopped, looking up at Baekhyun from his neck. “What is it?”

“I… I don’t know if I want to do this.” He said. “I.. haven’t lost it yet and I don’t know if I want to lose it now Jaemin. I’m…” He hesitated. “I don’t think I’m ready. I don’t feel right either..”

Jaemin blinked, not saying anything. “But… I don’t understand… Why.. I’d expect for you to… What do you mean you’re not ready? What do you mean by you don’t feel right?” He finally asked.

“I mean what I said. I’m not ready for this, I don’t want to do this right now. And… I don’t know. I feel something bad in my gut… I feel somewhat insecure.” Baekhyun said. Jaemin sat up, getting off of Baekhyun and then moving to sit next to him. Jaemin couldn’t keep his eyes off of Baekhyun’s jeans, which hung dangerously low on his flawless hips. He just wanted a taste of Baekhyun… he’d been wanting a taste for as long as he could remember. Before it was minimal, it was just a fleeting thought that ran through Jaemin’s mind every once in awhile. But now… now it was excessive, and in this moment, it was really overbearing.

“But Baekhyun, you shouldn’t be insecure… That makes no sense for you to be insecure, no sense at all. You’re so lovely that I want to…” Jaemin’s hand went to the button of Baekhyun’s jeans, his heart racing, eyes pleading. “I want… please.” He whispered.

“No Jaemin, you have to understand that I don’t want this.” Baekhyun said, gently removing Jaemin’s hand. The younger pushed Baekhyun’s hand with his wrist and he grabbed the soft, feminine-like hand.

Jaemin got closer to Baekhyun, making him lean back. “Please Baekhyun. I want this. I want it now. Please, let me just-”

“Jaemin. No means no, you have to understand that.” Baekhyun let go of Jaemin’s hand pushing him away and as he bent down to grab his shirt, Jaemin pushed him forcefully back onto the bed, lust in his eyes. “Jaemin! Get off of me!” Baekhyun cried out, trying to get Jaemin off of him. Jaemin had managed to pin Baekhyun’s forearms down with his hands, straddling him with ease. “Jaemin! Get the fuck off of me, right now!”

“No! I-I-I… I really want this! Don’t be a fucking asshole!” Jaemin yelled, glaring at Baekhyun. “Don’t you dare be a selfish prick, do you know how long I’ve been waiting!?”

“You’re the one being an asshole!” Baekhyun said, eyes flashing and his voice was raised. “I don’t fucking want this, okay!?” Jaemin stopped, breath hitching and his grip on Baekhyun loosened. Baekhyun had never ever raised his voice at him before… other than that one night when he came out. But he had been drunk. This probably had to be the first time that it’d ever happened while sober and Jaemin was shocked. He sat up and didn’t move for a moment, when in a swift motion he grabbed his shirt and then left the room, distressed. Baekhyun didn’t know where he was going but he lay there for a moment, catching his breath before he put on his shirt as well, sitting on the bed, motionless, just breathing. He stayed there for two minutes before he ran out, stumbling as he left the apartment, going after Jaemin.

“Jaemin! Jaemin, wait! Come back!” Baekhyun called out to the figure running away. The figure turned his head back and Baekhyun picked up his pace a little bit. “Jaemin, stop!”

The two ran and ran and ran, Baekhyun not realising that they were in the middle of the street now. He was yelling out apologies instead, trying to get Jaemin to stop, but the boy had a head start and Baekhyun tried running faster. Suddenly, as if out of nowhere, a loud horn blasted and Baekhyun looked behind him to a bright, blinding white light and then the next thing he knew was that the wind was knocked out of him and he was flying, flying, flying, his lean body arching gracefully in the air and then he landed with a loud thud. Pain exploded everywhere and Baekhyun gasped for air, but it was as if he was being smothered by something invisible. His head fell back, mouth gaping.

Jaemin heard the loud thud and he wanted to look back but he refused, continuing to run, his path now familiar and soon he reached the street that he knew well by now. The street of the second person he liked most. He continued to run, looking for his house and when he finally found it, he ran up the stairs and crashed into the door loudly, crumpling next to it. He panted, waiting for it to open and for him to be let in and soon enough, exactly that happened.

“Jaemin! What are you-” Jongin began.

“Quickly...” Jaemin gasped. “Take… me in.. inside! Please…” Jongin obeyed, picking him up swiftly and kicking the door shut behind him. Jongin carried Jaemin upstairs to his room, where he placed him on the bed, and then he went downstairs to grab a glass of water, rushing back to Jaemin and giving it to him. Jaemin was ever grateful for Jongin and when he finished up the glass of water, he collapsed back and Jongin got into bed with him, covering the young boy in warmth.

Baekhyun lay on the concrete, eyes glassy, and a look of shock on his face. He stared blankly up at the ceiling of the sky, which glittered faintly with stars. A frightened and worried looking man shuffled up to Baekhyun looking at him, knowing what he’d done and not knowing what to further do. There was a dark pool next to Baekhyun’s head, as another person next to the frightened man pointed out and he gasped and cried out, wondering what to do. The other man pulled out his phone, dialling for the police and the frightened man dropped to his knees next to Baekhyun, wailing about the drastic situation.

A peculiar, opaque white smoke began to escape Baekhyun’s open mouth. Neither men noticed it come out. The smoke continued exude Baekhyun’s body until it formed into a figure and then the figure gained everything else exact to Baekhyun.

Baekhyun looked at his body and at the two men and he sighed shaking his head, knowing that he was going to have to follow his body around. He couldn’t believe that this had to happen now. _Of all times…_ He thought, grimacing.

An ambulance arrived and took Baekhyun’s body away on a stretcher, the man still wailing and the ghost of Byun Baekhyun followed, grumbling about the situation, Jaemin escaping his mind. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah... it happened. :') next chapter out tomorrow djsndjsj


	4. Chapter 4

Butterfly  
Chapter Four.

Jaemin woke up the next morning, his limbs tangled with Jongin’s, shirt partially lifted and there was slight skin to skin contact. Jongin woke up himself and he smiled at Jaemin. “Morning Jaemin.”

“Morning Nini,” Jaemin replied, smiling adorably.

“Did you sleep well?” Jongin asked, stretching.

“Ah… yeah, I did. It slept quite well, surprisingly. And you?”

“Sounds good. I slept well myself. Let’s make breakfast yeah?” Jongin suggested.

Jaemin nodded and they didn’t move for a moment until Jaemin burst into giggles. “C’mon, let’s go downstairs.” He said getting up.

For the next hour, the two made a big breakfast and there was a lot of giggles and shrieking from Jaemin and soft, honey laden, gentle words from Jongin. They had a great breakfast and everything was okay until Jongin asked about last night. Jaemin sighed, smiling fading and he got serious as he explained everything to Jongin. Even though Jongin didn’t fully like Baekhyun, he still insisted that Jaemin give him a call so he wouldn’t be worried. Baekhyun himself hadn’t called or texted Jaemin at all and Jaemin was sad about that, a thought of abandonment crossing his mind. Jaemin tapped the call button and he waited for Baekhyun to pick up, ready with an apology and explanation.

But Baekhyun didn’t answer. Jaemin tried again, and still his best friend didn’t answer the phone. He tried for the third time, getting worried and to his surprise he didn’t hear the ringing anymore.

“H-h-h-ello?” A shy timid female voice answered.

“Uh… hi. I-is this Baekhyun’s ph-phone?” Jaemin asked tentatively.

“Y-y-yes i-it is.” The girl stammered. Jaemin heard some heavy breathing from the other side and Jaemin wondered what was going on.

“Um, do you mind giving him the phone?”

“I-I c-c-can’t.” Jaemin’s brows furrowed.

“W-why not?”

“Ah… w-well… Uh… are y-you a friend of B-baekhyun?” The girl asked.

“I’m his best friend, yes.” Jaemin was worried, wanting to know what’d happened to Baekhyun. He hoped that it was nothing bad.

“W-well, he’s been a-admitted to the h-h-hospital. He’d been i-in a t-t-terrible ac-accident last night and w-we’re not c-completely sure of h-his case, b-b-but we feel that he m-might be in a c-coma.” The news hit Jaemin like a stone and he didn’t know what to say. His blood seemed to turn cold and the phone fell from his hand. Jongin looked up at Jaemin worriedly, wondering was going on.

Jaemin was unable to speak. _Baek… in the hospital?_ He thought.

“Jaemin… Jaemin, what happened?” Jongin asked, touching his shoulder. Jaemin didn’t move at first. Then he slowly stood, stepping on the phone and he stood there, Jongin standing up as well. Uncontrollably, Jaemin walked past a very concerned Jongin and out of the apartment. And only when the door shut behind him did Jaemin realise the situation properly.

He ran, breaking out into a sprint, not caring that he was barefoot, running, running, and running. He didn’t even know where the hell the hospital even was but he ran endlessly. As he ran, people gave him strange looks, but he didn’t notice any of that. All he wanted to do was go and see Baekhyun. A sharp pain shot through Jaemin’s foot and he looked down to see a slight cut. He cursed but he continued to run. He dodged someone in front of him, jumped over a stray animal, and then took a right turn, continuing to run.

There was a sign near him when had to stop at a stoplight and it said that the hospital was only a quarter kilometre away. A thought of confusion crossed his mind, he really didn’t have any idea how he managed to run this far and to the hospital without even a map. He looked at his foot and found it bleeding and he sighed. He’d get it bandaged up later. Right now, he had to see Baekhyun.

Jaemin began to run again, leaving one bloody footprint behind him as he ran and people shouted and screamed because of it and Jaemin looked back, confused, but he didn’t stop running. Finally, after a long time of running he managed to run to the hospital, in pain, bleeding, and completely breathless. He managed to enter the hospital, and he raised one hand, about to ask for help, but he collapsed, panting heavily. There was a shout and Jaemin found himself surrounded both by nurses and patients. Jaemin was put on a stretcher and taken to a room where he was given water by a nurse and then his bleeding foot was taken care of.

He was asked a couple questions when he finally could breathe properly. “Young man, what are you doing here?” A nurse asked.

“I-I c-came to see my best f-friend…” He said, laying back on the stretcher.

“Who are they?” Another asked.

“B-byun B-b-baekhyun.”

“Ah, that fellow. Say, do you know if he has any family members?” The first one asked.

“He lost his parents a couple years back.” Jaemin replied. “I’m the only person he’s got, if that’s… okay.”

“Normally it wouldn’t be, but we’ll make an exception for now. When you’re ready, we’ll take you to see him.” She said, smiling gently. Jaemin wanted to see him immediately but he nodded nonetheless.

Jaemin was left alone for some time until there was a knock on the door and he looked up to see a head peek into the room. He saw a face and he looked directly into the person’s eyes and there was a small squeak in response and the door closed shut. He heard muffled voices for a moment before the door opened again. “Jaemin? Will you please step outside? I’ll take you to see Baekhyun now.” A nurse said, after stepping in.

The young boy got off the bed and limped out of the room, trying his best not to step on his foot completely. He followed the nurse out of the room and down the hallway. Jaemin looked behind him to a very young girl with dark wavy hair, looking pointedly down. Jaemin turned back to the front, continuing to limp.

Soon, the nurse stopped a door, sliding it open and stepping aside to let Jaemin in. He peeked in and found Baekhyun bandaged up and his eyes were closed. Jaemin’s heart sank even though he knew that he was unconscious. A monitor beeped as he entered the room, eyes never leaving Baekhyun’s face. The door slid shut and the nurses left Jaemin alone.

“Keep an eye on him, okay Stella?” One said to the the other, who was looking down. She nodded and the nurse left and Stella went to a desk next to the room, going through some papers.

“Well Stella, you’ve met my best friend now.” Baekhyun said next to her. Stella jumped, she’d almost forgotten him and the fact that she could see him even though his body was on the bed in the room where Jaemin was.

“Please next time do something to let me know you’re going to appear.” Stella said softly

  
“What could I do though? If I push down things you’re holding, the nurses and doctors might think you’re clumsy and some might even yell at you for that.” Baekhyun said.

Stella sighed. “Figure out something? I don’t know what you could do, if I’m going to be honest.” It was a miracle she wasn’t stuttering now compared to earlier when Jaemin was on the phone. Poor Stella hadn’t been able to say a proper and clean sentence to Jaemin, since she was so afraid. It was a bit ridiculous but she was raised in an environment where men of all kind were despised. It was going to be difficult for her to get used to men at all, but it was definitely a very good thing that she didn’t have the same effect with Baekhyun. Though she wasn’t sure as to why she could talk to him and not freak out or panic. Maybe it was because he was a ghosts and ghosts couldn’t really do much to her…

“Well either way,” Baekhyun said, breaking her train of thoughts. “You’ve met Jaemin now and it sucks that he’s hurt but y’know he’s not dead. I might as well be..”

“Please don’t say that Baekhyun, I’m sure we can do something to save you.” Stella said looking up at him. Baekhyun sighed.

He didn’t say anything for a moment, and only when Stella looked away did he speak. “It’s really miraculous that I wasn’t dead on the spot. I thought I was going to be, when I got admitted here because well..” He gestured to himself. “I’m a ghost. And if I’m not wrong, ghosts don’t necessarily appear unless the body is… no longer working.”

“Not necessarily.” Stella interrupted, looking up at him. “I remember reading a book where a girl had a death experience along with an out of body experience and yet she came back to life. Though I think that was more of something where she followed her body around and stayed near it and she had… I think a choice, of whether or not she wanted to continue to live.”

“So… you’re saying that I basically have to stay near my body at all times and when the time come, I get to choose whether I want to continue living or not?” Baekhyun asked slowly.

“I guess so. It could be different for everyone, I don’t know.” Stella looked back down and she stood to leave when she remembered Jaemin. “What… what am I going to do about your friend? He’s not to stay long… Though he is allowed to stay one night here. I’ve seen the relatives of patients do that…”

“Ask him if he wants to stay.” Baekhyun suggested. Stella froze.

Almost immediately was her stuttering self back, just the thought of holding a conversation with a man.. she didn’t want to do this. “I-I-I would r-rather not s-s-speak to him at a-a-all…”

“Oh c’mon Stella, he’s not going to kill you or something. He can’t and he wouldn’t dare anyways.” Baekhyun said exasperatedly.

“Still! I d-d-d-don’t want to talk to hi-hi-him…”

“Then who will? Who else is going to ask him if he’s going to stay or not?” Stella huffed and whined a bit but she finally relented.

Stella knocked on the sliding door and the voice on the other side silenced. “Yes?” The voice said after a moment.

Stella opened the door and peeked in. “H-hi. I-I was just g-g-going to ask if y-you’re going to stay the n-n-night in this r-room?”

“Oh.. I’m allowed to do that?” Jaemin asked. Stella nodded. “Well if that’s the case then sure. Also… are you the girl who called me earlier?” Stella paused before nodding again. It was best if she tried not to speak at all. Her knuckles were white on the handle of the sliding door as she gripped it tightly. “Would you mind calling someone for me? Here I’ll give you his number…” She almost let out a little squeak when she heard the word ‘his’ but she kept silent. Stella handed the boy a piece of paper and a pen and he wrote down a number. “Tell him that I’m at the hospital and that I’ll be staying the night and he shouldn’t worry about me. Is he allowed to visit tomorrow?”

“H-he might be able t-to.” Stella said. “I-I d-don’t know.”

“Well if he’s able to, will you let him know?” Jaemin asked. Stella nodded before sliding the door shut again and she let out a breath of relief that was mixed with a cry.

“That wasn’t too bad was it?” Baekhyun asked.

“Sh-shut up… I a-already vowed to n-n-never speak to a m-m-man at all, yet h-here I am… C-crazy, scary weirdos…” She muttered before heading to one of the rooms that had a telephone. She carefully dialled the number from the paper and waited for it to go through. After the first ring, there was a frantic hello and Stella jumped a little.

“A-are you…” She looked at the paper. “K-kim J-jongin?”

“Yes, that’s me. Who are you?”

“I-I’m Stella. I… I’m calling f-from the hospital and y-your friend J…”

“Jaemin?”

“Yes! Hi-him, he’s here and he t-told me that he’s o-okay and that he’s g-going to st-stay the night here. And he t-told me that y-you sh-shouldn’t worry about hi-him.”

“Oh… that’s good, thank you for letting me know that. Do you know when I’m allowed to visit him? Can I see him now? Or am I not allowed?” Jongin asked. His voice was like honey, Stella remarked mentally.

She gulped before replying. “Uh… you c-can p-probably visit t-tomorrow. If y-you want.”

“Sound good, thank you… Stella, was it?” Stella nodded before saying yes. “Okay, thank you again for letting me know.”

“N-no p-problem.” Stella hung up almost immediately, and let out another shaky breath. “This j-job is g-going to be the d-d-death of me…” She stammered, rubbing her hands together.

“I’m surprised you managed to even land this job at all.” Baekhyun said. “What is it that you have against men? You never stutter when women are around.”

“It’s a l-l-long story B-baekhyun…” She sighed. She left the room and headed back to the room where Jaemin and Baekhyun’s body was. Stella knocked and told Jaemin what Jongin had told her and Jaemin was grateful.

“I’ve got a lot of time.” Baekhyun said as they left.

“F-for what?” Stella asked.

“For you to tell me what’s up with your stammering when males are around. Y’know, you’ve never yet stammered around me. Er… I mean you did, just now, but you’re still able to talk normally to me. Besides, I’m dead, so I have all the time in the universe.” Baekhyun said.

“W-well even if y-you have a lot of t-time, I d-don’t.” Stella replied as she entered an elevator. It was thankfully empty so she didn’t have to continue whispering and try not to be careful with moving her mouth too much. She inhaled and exhaled, calming herself down. She had to stop stuttering at some point, but the words of the girls…

“What are you going to be doing now?” Baekhyun asked, entering with her.

“I first have to ask Dr. Johnson if there’s anything he wants for me to do.”

“You could definitely ask him later, Stella, since he probably thinks you’re occupied with me.” Baekhyun reasoned.

Stella sighed heavily. “Fine! I’ll tell you. Let me just… Wait, I don’t- Oh I have a lunch break soon.” She said, looking down at her watch. “Great, I’ll tell you then.”

“How long do I have to wait?” Baekhyun asked.

“Half an hour.”

“Alright fine, I’ll wait that long. Don’t forget though, you’re going to have to tell me.”

“I know, I know…” The elevator doors opened and she walked out, changing the subject and now talking quietly to Baekhyun as she made her way to her manager’s office. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter out tomorrow! :)


	5. Chapter 5

Butterfly  
Chapter Five.

“So where should I start?” Stella asked. She was finally on her lunch break, which occurred not half an hour like she said, but rather a complete hour and a half later. She was walking along the park while Baekhyun glided next to her.

“From the start of course.” Baekhyun said. “I’ll try not to interrupt.”

“Okay…” She said softly. She kept quiet for a moment and Baekhyun opened his mouth to speak but Stella beat him to it. “When I was young… I didn’t have a father. Or a brother, or really any male relatives at all. Just my mother. She sent me to an all girls school and it was a boarding school, and I went there every year without fail. The school was nice… stressful, definitely, but the teachers and some of the girls or my classmates… they were nice too. Some other girls though… they were different. They never shut up about boys and they spent half of their time talking awfully about all men, and at night… they would tell stories about the things that men did. They were all quite horrific to listen to, if you ask me. The things that I heard… they were almost endless because I basically grew up with them. There was no end to the insults nor the stories the girls told me. They said a bunch of stuff about some of the girls who dated men, about how they were clueless and all stupid. They depended on the man they were with and they couldn’t do anything about any of the men. They were used, abused, hurt, left for dead or brokenhearted, they were treated awfully and even some of the girls who seemed strong with and around others, were actually weak around the man they were with. My classmates hated all men, and they still do. Because of that, they influenced me. I remember trying to ask about men who weren’t as they described, men who were nice and polite. They shot that down by saying that there was no man who was nice or polite. Those kinds of men were nonexistent.

“I lived with those girls for years. Now that I’m fully exposed to the outside world away from the girls, I’m always extra cautious and that’s why I stutter near all men. I think the reason why I’m not like that around you is because of the fact that you’re a ghost and ghosts can’t really do anything to me. So basically I’m safe for the time being. Unless you somehow figure out something to do to me.”

“Nah, I’m not in the mood for that. I like being a ghost, it’s so much fun!” Baekhyun swooped in front of Stella and he grinned at her. Stella smiled in return. “I hadn't really expected for you to say that, but you do know that not all men are like that, right? There are some men who like other men, they're not interested in girls at all. Sure, they're interested in becoming friends with girls, but there are many who aren't.”

“Really?” Stella asked, smile fading, and an eyebrow raising.

“Yup. Jaemin’s one of them. I'm surprised you don't know anything about homosexuality.” Baekhyun glided backwards as Stella continued walking forwards.

“Homo… sexual…? Meaning of the same sex..?”

“Yep! Homo means same which you already know and if you put them together it means same sex. So, Jaemin likes those of his own sex. He likes boys. He's a homosexual.”

“Oh… that's quite intriguing. Does it apply to girls?”

Baekhyun nodded. “There are some girls who like other girls in this world. The word for boys is gay and for girls it's lesbian. It's a whole spectrum though, there's a lot more to it.”

“Really? It's not binary?” Stella’s eyes were wide and she was surprised. Baekhyun shook his head.

“If you'd like, I can tell you what I know about everything.”

“Please do! I've never heard of such things like this, it's so interesting!” Stella said. She looked like an excited kid and the sight made Baekhyun smile. He began to tell her as much as he could about the different genders and as many of the terms from the LBGT+ community. Stella bombarded him with many questions and as she was about to ask another one, her phone rang. “Oh no! I completely forgot about work!” She cried. “C’mon Baekhyun we have to go!” Stella broke into a sprint and Baekhyun glided quickly along with her.

Jaemin was laying his head down next to Baekhyun’s side, face turned towards Baekhyun’s shoulder. He lightly played with his best friend’s fingers, eyes stinging badly when he blinked. He’d cried so much it was a miracle that the girl hadn’t seen anything and that he had managed to stop. The truth was that he missed Baekhyun so much. Jaemin just wanted him to wake up and tell him that he was okay, that he shouldn’t be worried, that he was fine. But that didn’t happen.

The young boy sat up, still playing with Baekhyun’s fingers until he just held it loosely. Baekhyun had a bandage around his head and his pretty face was slightly paler than usual. His eyes were closed and even though he was unconscious, Jaemin really just wanted to kiss his best friend… Instead, he kissed his forehead before laying back down, lightly, on Baekhyun’s arm. Jaemin’s eyes slowly fluttered shut, as sleep and thoughts of Baekhyun waking up took over him.

*~*~*

“Hello, I’m Jongin. I’m here to visit Byun Baekhyun…? I’m his… friend.” Jongin said at the receptionist desk, after entering the hospital. Stella had been rounding the corner but she stopped when she heard the name. She leaned back around the corner to look at him and her heart almost stopped. The man was absolutely stunning, that was for sure. He had bronze skin and he was dressed neatly and clean cut, a white button up with black dress pants and black dress shoes, and he looked drop dead gorgeous in it. His hair was styled a bit but not too much, it was more loose and fluffy and Stella had an urge to run her fingers through it.

_What the hell is this!?_ Stella thought. _That’s a man, obviously, but my thoughts and urges! What the hell? Ridiculous, I shouldn’t be thinking of those kinds of things! They’re not right! I can’t think of nonsensical things like that, I gotta remember the words of the girls!_

“Ah yes, just wait a moment and we’ll take someone to bring you to his room.” Jongin thanked the receptionist and turned towards Stella who panicked and disappeared behind the wall, heart pounding. She looked to her right and saw the restrooms sign and immediately she went for it. Upon locking the door behind her, she mentally called out for Baekhyun, an ability she didn’t know she could do until she tried a couple days earlier.

“Yes Stella?” He said appearing near her.

“That other boy - Jongin I think his name was - he’s here. What should we do? I don’t know who’s supposed to take him to your room, I don’t even know if Jaemin is still in there.” Stella said, slightly breathless for some reason.

“I was just in my room, Jaemin’s still in there.” Baekhyun said calmly.

“Oh.” The girl blinked. “Well, did you talk to him?”

Baekhyun shook his head. “I didn’t want to. I don’t know if I am going to talk to him soon, I probably might not.” He said grimly. “As for Jongin, I suppose he doesn’t really want to actually see me. Who did he say he was going to visit?”

“You, obviously, since Jaemin isn’t a patient.”

“Right, well, I doubt he’s going to talk to me at all, he just came here to see Jaemin and maybe take him home, if Jaemin is willing. He may or may not be willing, we’re just going to have to wait and find out.” Baekhyun said matter-of-factly.

“Okay well… I suppose I should leave now… Maybe let Jaemin know that Jongin is here?” Stella asked.

“Go ahead, I’ll be waiting outside.” Stella nodded before leaving the bathroom. She had to go to the receptionist’s desk first, and she did, dropping off some papers and receiving some more in return.

“…Just fill those out for the new patient you’re assigned to, don’t forget to head to room 209 and 435 and check on those patients as well. You remember the daily check-up routine, yes?

“Of course, yes I do.” Stella replied.

“Very well, you may go. Oh and…” The receptionist looked around Stella at Jongin who was sitting there on his phone. “If you could take that young man over there to room 307, since he requested it earlier, that would be lovely.”

“Oh… Oh, sure.” Stella said after glancing at him. She was going to die she just knew it. Stella bowed before turning around, fixing the papers and she walked up to Jongin. “Uh… h-hello.” She said in a quiet voice. Jongin hadn’t heard her. “Um, e-excuse me s-s-sir?” She said louder. Jongin looked up and her heart skipped a beat. This really wasn’t okay. Not one bit.“Hi, I-I’m N-nurse Stella.” Nurse Stella… goodness gracious, I need to get used to that still. She thought. “I-I’m here t-to take you to B-Baekhyun’s room.”

“Ah, good.” Was all he said as he stood up. He towered over Stella and she immediately turned around, not wanting to see him and melt into a human puddle right then and there. While in the elevator, she saw Baekhyun appear, looking at her amused and she glared at him, making a face that told him to not say a word. When they reached the third floor, Baekhyun disappeared and so did the expression on Stella’s face. _If Jongin saw anything, it was all of his imagination. I did absolutely nothing._ Stella thought, walking out of the elevator.

She passed three doors before reaching the sliding one of Baekhyun’s and she knocked before peeking her head inside. “H-hello. There’s a-another person to see Baekhyun. I th-think you know him though s-so you don’t ha-have to step o-out.” Stella told Jaemin.

“Oh… It must be Jongin then. Okay I’ll… You can send him in.” Jaemin said. Stella nodded and stepped outside before gesturing Jongin inside with slightly pursed lips. She bowed, sliding the door shut and exhaling deeply.

Stella walked away from the room muttering under her breath. “N-never again…”

Jongin greeted Jaemin warmly and he was extremely concerned of his well-being. “How’ve you been holding up? You left without warning yesterday… what happened?” He asked, concern all over his face.

“Well… I got news about Baekhyun and he had an accident…” Jaemin gestured to Baekhyun’s unconscious, bandaged self. “He’s my best friend, so I couldn’t just stay at home… I had to see him as soon as possible… And well here he is… Unconscious. I don’t even know if he’s going to wake up…” Jaemin’s voice cracked at the end and his eyes welled up. He just wanted to see his best friend’s brown eyes again, to apologise for the previous night, to give him a big bear hug and tell him that he wouldn’t it again. But he couldn’t. He was restricted from doing so since Baekhyun was unconscious.

Baekhyun had appeared in the room earlier, when Jaemin had been explaining to Jongin what’d happened. He watched Jaemin carefully and he saw the way the young man looked at his lifeless body. There was an almost unmistakable look in his eyes and Baekhyun was unable to say anything. What could he say? They wouldn’t be able to hear him anyways.

Jongin on the other hand, took Jaemin into his arms, hugging him and Jaemin was pretty thankful. Jongin’s hug was definitely different from Baekhyun’s hug. One thing was for sure, Jongin was a little bit harder and rougher, especially in the abdominal and chest area. Baekhyun on the other hand, Jaemin knew that he was very soft, and he liked that the most about Baekhyun. Well, one of the things he liked most anyways. Baekhyun being soft meant that Jaemin could sink into him and it would all be so comfortable and nice… perfect for cuddling and especially for the feeling of being protected. Jongin though, it was as if Jaemin was being kept on the surface, as if he didn’t want the younger one to be any closer.

The two left the room to let the nurses do some tests and Jongin passed the stuttering nurse who was looking down and she was also blushing furiously. She’s… kinda cute. Jongin thought as he watched her scurry into Baekhyun’s room.

“Hey! Jongin! Are you alive?” Jaemin’s voice broke into Jongin’s thoughts and Jongin blinked, shaking his head slightly.

He looked down at Jaemin. “Oh, yeah, sorry… I just got distracted. Let’s go.” Jaemin gave him a weird look but nodded and the two walked out of the hospital. “Ah, you forgot your shoes, didn’t you?” Jongin pointed out and Jaemin looked down.

His foot was still bandaged and thankfully there was a new bandage over the cut. “Oh yeah… I did in my rush. D’you think we could go back and get them…?”

“Of course. I’ll take you back right away.” The two walked to Jongin’s car which looked expensive and Jaemin realised that he didn’t quite know what kind of man Jongin was. As they were driving, Jaemin couldn’t help himself from staring at Jongin’s stature, behaviour and outfit. Of course, just this little bit from right now, wouldn’t help him at all, but he supposed he could spend some more time around Kim Jongin and learn more about him. With this in mind, he looked back to the front.

Back at the hospital, Stella was doing well in helping the other nurses with a couple tests that were being done on Baekhyun. But when they were done, they came back with strange results.

“I’m surprised at how we didn’t notice this earlier…” One of the nurses said.

“What? What happened?” Stella asked, slightly worried.

“Do you see these pictures?” The nurse asked, pointing to a picture of what looked like a brain and it seemed a little dented in the back.

“Is that… the patient’s brain?” Stella asked looking at the nurse.

The nurse nodded, biting her lip. “Do you know which part of the brain that is?”

“The… cerebrum… isn’t it?” Stella replied slowly.

“Correct. But this part specifically,” The nurse circled a particular part of the back of the brain. “Is known as the cerebral cortex. It’s been slightly damaged from the accident.”

“W-what does that mean?”

“It means that because it’s been damaged, the patient is in a coma. We thought that he was only unconscious, but this makes so much more sense. I’m not completely sure how much of a coma this man is in… We’re going to have to take a couple more tests to figure that out.” Stella was surprised but she understood.

She stood out of the way, letting the nurses and Dr. Johnson and another doctor do their work. Baekhyun appeared next to her and he mentally asked her about the situation, and she told him.

_Damn… That seems crazy but believable. There’s a scale to check the level of state of comatose I’m in?_ Baekhyun asked her.

_Yes, it’s known as the Glasgow Coma Scale. I think I remember reading about it, but I’m not too sure… If I remember correctly though, it goes from a 3 to a 15, where 3 is absolute unconsciousness, almost a death-like state. 15 is me, where the patient is moving and is alive. Stella answered. By the way, this whole ghost thing is so weird, don’t you think? I mean, I can talk to you with my thoughts! …Do you read my thoughts or something?_

_That’s random… but no, I don’t. I don’t think I can? I don’t know… This ghost thing is weird to me too, you’re not alone. I at first didn’t think I’d be able to talk to anyone at all, but here I am, talking to you in your head. And that’s very interesting, what you said about the coma scale. You must know a lot, right?_ Baekhyun asked.

_Not really, I just know what I needed to know. I’ve been interested in this kinda stuff for a long time, so I started studying really early and I guess I got lucky..? It was weird calling myself a nurse earlier, when I told that Jongin fellow who I was. I’m not necessarily a nurse? I’m an intern… this hospital is hardcore though, that’s for sure. Only an intern and yet I’m assigned to look at four patients… It’s a miracle I’m able to handle them._

_Hey, you’re not alone. I can help you out, if you want! I’m a ghost, I can do a lot of things._ Baekhyun offered.

_Thanks but I don’t think you can hand me stacks of paper from my room. You’re a ghost, your hands would just slip through._

_You have a point…_

“Stella?” A nurse said, interrupting their mental conversation.

The girl looked up, blinking. “Yes?”

“Would you like to know the state of the patient? We’ve finished all the tests.”

“Oh, yes, of course.” Stella found that on the Glasgow Coma Scale, Baekhyun was on a 6 which wasn’t too bad, but Stella had been hoping for a two digit number. She didn’t want Baekhyun to die, that would be dreadful. He still had so much of his life ahead of him, but then again, it was Baekhyun’s choice of whether or not he wanted to live. He still wasn’t decided and Stella didn’t know when he would be.

*~*~*

  
Stella was on her way home and Baekhyun had decided to go with her. They talked and Stella was extra cautious as she made her way home and when they finally reached home, Stella was taken by surprise when she saw her mother in the living room.

“Hello mother, I didn’t expect to find you home tonight!” Stella said, going over to hug her mother.

“What were you doing out so late?” Her mother asked after breaking away from the hug.

“I just finished work. It was a harrowing day today, but then again, every work day is harrowing, if I’m going to be honest.” Stella answered.

“Ah yes, I almost forgot you were working. You smell like the hospital too. Work’s going fine, I presume?”

“Oh yes, it’s going wonderfully, thank you. I’ve been assigned to four patients! It’s definitely a lot, but I’m getting help from the nurses and doctors.” She smiled brightly.

“And none of the males there, especially Dr. Johnson, are doing crazy things to you right? They’re not telling you or promising you things, not using you?”

“Absolutely not.” Stella half lied. The truth was… well, no guy was really talking to her at all. One was in a coma, another was too ill to speak, a third lost his voice, a fourth didn’t really want to talk to her, her boss or Dr. Johnson was too busy and she’d only talked to Jaemin and Jongin both a couple times. Baekhyun didn’t fully count, since he was a ghost currently.

“Excellent. Well go and shower, I ordered some takeout for you while you’d been gone.” Stella’s mother stood up with a slight grunt. “Your old lady’s getting quite old! Eat well and sleep well my dear. I’ll be upstairs.” She said, smiling and patting Stella’s cheek before going upstairs like she said.

Stella was, for the most part, alone while she ate. Baekhyun was near her, she’d instructed him to not go upstairs whatsoever and he obeyed, staying downstairs. At the moment, he was just both watching her eat and looking around the house as well. Finally, she was done, she cleaned up after herself and repeated her order for Baekhyun to stay downstairs.

A quick shower later, Stella was in her room, listening to music softly through her stereo system which she’d received as a gift, and she was looking up things about comas. While she looked them up, she muttered things to Baekhyun who wasn’t really paying attention and instead was deeply fascinated by her room.

“These are quite a few posters if I do say so myself.” Baekhyun remarked, interrupting her. “Did you draw this?” He pointed to one that looked hand drawn.

Stella turned, looking at it herself. “No.. I think my friend drew it and then I coloured it in.”

“It looks awesome.”

“Thanks? I guess…” Baekhyun continued to look around her room, asking her about many things until he stopped at a picture frame, one of Stella in it along with another girl that looked strikingly familiar to him.

He bent closer, as he couldn’t pick up the picture, studying the girl who wasn’t Stella. “Who… who’s this?” He asked.

“Who, her?” Stella stood from the floor, walking over to him carefully. “That’s my friend, Clarissa.”

“The name rings a bell… Hey wait! I met her at a diner!”

“You what? When?”

“When I was still alive, I remember! I thought she looked really attractive, so I decided to talk to her for a bit…” Baekhyun trailed off, looking at Stella. “And you were there too! I remember sitting down next to you and you immediately panicked before escaping to the bathroom. At the time I didn’t know why, but now I do! It all clicks! Wow I didn’t think something like that would’ve ever happened…” Baekhyun was clearly amazed at this fact.

“Oh… no wonder you looked a bit familiar… Well I guess those questions are all asked.” Stella said.

The rest of the night passed by and Stella spent most of it talking to Baekhyun, getting to know him and eventually getting to about his relationship with Jaemin. It was sweet and nice to hear of all the things that went down between them.

Meanwhile, Jaemin and Jongin had spent their entire day together. They had quite an eventful Sunday, one where Jaemin ended up forgetting about Baekhyun for the time being. But when it was nighttime again, and Jaemin was cuddling with Jongin, only then did he remember Baekhyun. He felt a little ashamed; he was playing around with another man while his best friend was unconscious in a hospital, some miles away. As guilt lulled him to sleep, he vowed to stay in the hospital the next day for the entire day.

But Jongin slightly ruined those plans and Jaemin didn’t even really remember to visit Baekhyun anyways. Neither was to blame, really.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter out tomorrow~ I dunno what else to say lmao


	6. Chapter 6

Butterfly  
Chapter Six.

“Clarissa, _please_! I just want to go home, why did you have to force me to go to the mall?” Stella whined, entire body drooping.

“You need a new wardrobe!” Clarissa responded. “Besides, this store in particular just recently opened up and I went to visit and the dresses it has are soooooooo cute!”

Stella groaned watching Clarissa scurry about the store, too excited. “Clarissaaaaaaaaaa, there’s no need for you to give me new clothes! Especially not dresses! Clarissaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.” Stella was whining again and Clarissa turned to face her friend.

With a glare, she replied. “I don’t want for you to be wearing clothes that are years old.” Stella opened her mouth to reply but Clarissa cut her off. “You need to be in the new! So just listen to me and try on these dresses, please.” Clarissa held up a bunch of dresses that were short and Stella gasped.

She stared at the dresses in horror. “They’re too short!” She cried, pushing them away. “I can’t wear these!”

“Stella! They’re a perfectly normal size! Why the hell would they be short?”

“They’re normal size to you but they’re short to me!” Stella replied, pouting deeply.

“Oh shut up, you’re talking nonsense.” Clarissa said, rolling her eyes. She handed Stella ten hangers that seemed to have appeared out of nowhere. “Take these. Now go and put them on!” Stella groaned and dragged herself to the fitting room and trying on the first dress which was a lilac colour. The bodice was decorated with flowers that were also lilac. Stella stepped out and Clarissa gasped. “Oh you look lovely! But I do admit… that dress is too short. Sorry! Go on and put another one?” Stella sighed but did as her friend requested. She tried on another dress, this one was more of a maroon with a belt and the sleeves went a fourth of the way down her arm. When she stepped out to let Clarissa see, Clarissa was ecstatic and she said that the dress should be kept.

Stella continued to try more dresses, trying on a bright red one that had a multicolour floral pattern on it. It had a slight fancy collar and Stella really liked the dress. To her surprise, Clarissa did too, saying that it fit Stella well. She then tried on a white dress that had a black floral shoulder and both Clarissa and her agreed that it wasn’t the best dress.

Stella was practically tired from trying on so many dresses, many of which either both she and Clarissa liked, only Clarissa liked, or neither of them liked. There was a black lace one that they both loved, a red off shoulder one with a lovely floral bodice (Clarissa seemed to really love flowers on Stella), another red off shoulder that was bolder than the previous one, a prettier lilac dress from the first one and many more. It was only when Stella stepped out with a grey dress on that was netted, had a salmon bottom, realistic floral bodice along with a thin red ribbon around the waist did Clarissa gasp very loudly.

Due to Clarissa crowding around Stella, the latter wasn’t able to see Jongin walk past, glancing towards the fitting room where he caught a glimpse of Stella, but only the top of her head. Clarissa was behind Stella now and Stella kept her head down, and even so, Jongin did notice what Stella was wearing, even though he didn’t know the face. A fleeting thought of how pretty she looked ran through his mind and his brow furrowed a bit when his attention was taken away by Jaemin, who tugged him away from the fitting room.

As he left, letting Jaemin drag him, he turned his head towards the girl who finally lifted her head up and their eyes met. Stella’s breath hitched, for she knew exactly who he was and she had not expected to see him at the mall at all. Jongin seemed to recognise her, but he wasn’t sure. He continued to look at her until his view was obscured by the other girl’s head and he slowly turned his head back to the front. It all seemed to have happened in slow motion, but it ended far too quickly.

Stella was mute for the rest of the trip. Clarissa noticed this and expressed her annoyance in this factor, complaining all the way home. Clarissa did end up finally taking pity, apologising and Stella waved it off, saying that the dresses would work as a better apology.

Alone in her room, Stella perched upon the edge of her bed, lost in thought. She lay down, inhaling deeply before sighing. She lay, looking at the ceiling for a bit before turning to her side, hand next to her face and she slowly drifted off to sleep. Her dreams ended up being plagued by the man she constantly came across, and they were filled with all the fears and terrible stories she heard from growing up. One in particular seemed so real, Stella was shocked that it was a dream at all.

She sat up, gasping for air and she found she was sweating badly. _I’d forgotten to take off my jacket…_ She thought, slowly taking it off. She was a bit afraid to go to sleep again, so instead Stella went to shower and then decided that she busy herself with finding a summer class to take. She knew she was extremely early in doing so, but the earlier the better, she reasoned to herself.

In the midst, she was visited by her mother and later by Baekhyun, the latter surprising her a bit.

“Hello Stellbells.” Baekhyun greeted with an opaque smile.

“Baekhyun? What are you doing here? And Stellbells? What’s that?” Stella asked, eyes slightly wide.

“That’s my nickname for you! Bells are nice and they’re pretty too, and I think you’re nice and pretty, so bam! Stellbells. They were also the nickname of an old ex-girlfriend of mine - hers was Minniebells though - and she too was nice and pretty. But I like Stellbells better. I might change your nickname to something else… I don’t know. It also rhymes!” His smile widened.

“That’s really sweet of you! I don’t think I’ve really been called a nice nickname like that. Mostly it’s either Stel or Ella. Pretty generic and boring, wouldn’t you agree? And I’m curious, how did you break up with.. er.. Minnie..bells?” Stella asked.

“Nguyen Minhui is her full name, and we just felt that we would be better off as friends, so we broke it off simply. We… technically still are friends… even though I’m on a deathbed… but I think that maybe if you tell her of my situation… she could help.” Baekhyun said slowly.

“Help? With what?” Stella was curious, as she realised that he hadn’t answered one of her earlier questions, but he possibly would now.

“Well… The reason why I came here is on a sort of request. Maybe not a request… but many requests.” He was being quite vague, and Stella had to pry him a lot to get him to tell her what was on his mind. “Listen, I feel that it would be best if we do this all one by one. First, I think I should clean out my room.”

“Your room? Which one?”

“The one that belongs to the apartment where Jaemin and I reside in. I have strong doubts that Jaemin is living there now, since he’s found another playmate to be with.” He added bitterly. “So, what do you say we ask Minhui and maybe someone else to help us in cleaning out my room? Completely clean by the way, make it as if no one had ever lived there in the first place.”

“Alright… I can do that I guess… Will you personally be letting Minhui know of the situation or should I?”

“Both of us can do it. We can call her up and maybe if you know someone else willing to help, that will work as well.”

Stella nodded. “Sounds good to me. Let’s do it tomorrow, it’s very late right now.”

The next day, Stella thankfully had a second day off and to her luck, Clarissa was too busy with personal matters so she was unable to bring Stella shopping again and Stella’s mom had left for an overseas trip. Baekhyun had woken up Stella and after doing her morning routine, she sat down with her phone ready in hand and Baekhyun told her the number of Nguyen Minhui.

Thankfully, Minhui picked up and Stella introduced herself before telling her that she had something important to tell her in regards to Baekhyun, something which surprised Minhui. The girl accepted the request to head to Stella’s house and within half an hour, Stella and Minhui were in Stella’s room, and Minhui was anxious to know of what'd happened.

Stella explained everything to the best of her ability, and Minhui was shocked. By the time Stella was finished, Minhui didn't know what to say.

Right then, Baekhyun decided that he would let Minhui know the truth as he had a feeling that she didn't believe Stella. Baekhyun sat in the same position as Minhui above her and Stella silently watched his ghost form lower down and enter Minhui with a jolt.

“Minhui…” Baekhyun said and there was a gasp from Minhui’s mouth. “Can you hear me?”

“B-b-Baekhyun?” She asked, eyes wide. “What the- h-how the h-heck are y-y-you..?”

“I'm a ghost. I have the ability to do this, so you can believe Stella. I have to talk to you for a little bit though, and afterwards when I leave, you will be able to see me.”

“You…” Minhui couldn't believe anything.

“Don't worry Minhui, I won't hurt you. Everything Stella said is true, I'm currently in the hospital, resting but I'm in a coma. I… I have a choice of whether or not I want to live, and I'm not sure of what I want to do, so I'm kinda stuck in a limbo. But I have a request for you. Are you willing to do it for me?”

“Yes… yes of course! I'm willing to do anything you ask of me. Just tell me what it is and I'll definitely help you.” Minhui said quickly. Baekhyun nodded and then he left Minhui’s body, appearing in front of her and she was gasping for air, looking around. She was shocked to see Baekhyun. Reaching out, she tried to touch him, but her hand only touched cold air. “Baekhyun…”

“See? I'm a ghost. You unfortunately can't touch me, you'll only be met with cold air. But do you believe Stella now?” Baekhyun asked.

“A little… I think this will take some time for me to get used to… will you disappear if I fall asleep?” Minhui asked looking at him.

“No, I'll always be here, both by your side and by Stella’s side.” He looked at each girl respectively. Stella smiled slightly, bowing her head.

“That's good… that's really good. I'm still so shocked… I can barely believe this.” Minhui moved back into her sitting position. “But either way… tell me what your request for me is.”

“Yes, right. Well, I just… I just would like it if you and Stella went to the apartment Jaemin and I lived in and removed all of my things from it. I… I don't think Jaemin lives there anymore… and there isn't anything that he could do with my things. So it's best to give it away, throw it away or better yet, burn it all.” Baekhyun said seriously.

“Okay… I can do that. I can help out.” Minhui said after a moment of thinking.

“I think I'll have a couple more people help me out.” Stella offered. “Clarissa might not be able to, but other people might… it's a strong likelihood.”

“Whatever works. The more people though, the faster everything will be. Hopefully it all goes as smoothly as I wish for it to go…” Baekhyun trailed off, floating upwards a bit to look out the window.

The girls stood up, Stella speaking first. “We’ll do whatever it takes and we'll do our best. If it's to help you out, then consider it done.” Baek turned towards Stella and Minhui nodded in agreement. Baekhyun smiled, unable to truly feel gratefulness but he knew that it was there somewhere.

“Well, what are we waiting for then? Let's get it on, yeah?”

Stella called up a couple of her friends who were willing to help her out thankfully and the three then set off for Baekhyun's apartment.

Meanwhile, Jongin and Jaemin were spending their time cuddling on the couch while a movie was playing. Jaemin had grown affectionate of Jongin and Jongin had as well. Their relationship was a little messy, as they did accidentally kiss previously and Jaemin found Jongin’s lips to be irresistible, but that was the furthest Jaemin was willing to go. Compared to Baekhyun, Jaemin didn't want things to go too far with Jongin. He didn't know him too well, even though he was spending so much time with him. But he was getting to know the boy bit by bit as he spent more time with him.

Jaemin loved being in Jongin’s embrace, as it was very nice. But he missed Baekhyun's embrace too, he just wouldn't admit it. Not out loud or in his head anyways. His thoughts shifted from Jongin to Baekhyun again and he realised that he hadn't seen his best friend in a while. Jaemin froze and he knew that he was going to have to visit Baekhyun soon. Jaemin wondered what he should do to remind himself to visit Baekhyun and he figured that he should make a reminder on his phone for it. Mind set, Jaemin stood excusing himself to head to the bathroom but on the way, he quickly grabbed his phone from Jongin's room.

A reminder was made and Jaemin tossed the phone back into the room and he was surprised to see Jongin holding his arms out. Jaemin sat in his lap and Jongin smiled, hugging the younger boy. More cuddling ensued and Jongin was quite the cuddly yet clingy man.

Most of the time the two spent together was quiet. Neither knew what to say to break the silence and neither really wanted to break the silence. It wasn't too uncomfortable of a silence, but it also wasn't too good of a silence. Jaemin couldn't help but compare it to Baekhyun. They almost never shut up, talking about the randomest things. They had lapsed into silence before but those were usually broken quickly or when they did happen, they were comfortable and companionable silences. Jaemin missed Baekhyun and he knew he'd fucked up badly. What kind of best friend was he to ignore a loud thump like that? To not stop and go back to Baekhyun and apologise and hope their relationship wouldn't get ruined? These thoughts constantly made Jaemin depressed but Jongin unknowingly took him out of those thoughts.

Baekhyun, Stella, Minhui and two more friends’ of Stella’s were in Baekhyun’s apartment, looking around at the place. Stella was nervous to enter the place as she feared she would find dirty and disgusting things inside. There were thin layers of dust on some of the items, things that Minhui dusted off. They then went over to Baekhyun’s room and Stella opened the door to find the room a little messy. The four girls stood in the doorway, silent.

“Well? Let’s get cleaning, shall we?” Minhui said and the girls went to work. Baekhyun gave instructions to Minhui and Stella and the two relayed some of those instructions to the other two girls. In two hours, Baekhyun’s entire room was clean. Three of the girls were outside, setting all the boxes of Baekhyun’s items into a truck. Stella remained inside with Baek, cleaning out the last of the drawers. Behind it, she found a white square and she picked it up, finding that it was a photograph.

Stella studied it and Baekhyun was about to tell her something when he noticed the photo in her hand. “Is this you and Jaemin?” Stella asked quietly after a moment.

“It is… We took that picture a long time ago… I don’t even remember when… I forgot it even existed actually…” Baekhyun answered.

“You both look quite adorable… if you ask me. Jaemin looks so happy… but I think you look happier than him.” Stella’s voice was soft.

Baekhyun pursed his lips. “Do you mind keeping the picture for me?” He asked.

“Of course. I’ll keep it safe, don’t worry.” Baekhyun nodded and then Stella stood, looking over the room once again. She fixed the bed sheets, making them neat and clean, as if no one had ever lived in the space before. And then, she and Baekhyun turned away, leaving the room and the apartment. But not for the last time.

*~*~*

The four girls were driving out of the city of Seoul, heading into Incheon. They weren’t completely sure of what they were going to do with Baekhyun’s things. They only knew that selling them would take too much time, so Baekhyun decided that they could hand everything to an incinerator and burn it all. At first, the girls were all skeptical of the idea, but in the end, they agreed.

Baekhyun went ahead, into Incheon then to the outskirts where he managed to find a building where a lot of smoke was exuding from some of the chimneys. He got a closer look at the place and found that it was exactly what he was looking for. Pleased, Baekhyun went back to the truck where the girls were still driving. “Stella, do you think you’ll be able to give instructions to your friend on where to go? Because I’ve found the perfect place to head to.” Baekhyun told Stella.

“I’ll try. Lead the way.” Stella said and Baekhyun nodded before going in front of the truck.

The two worked together in following Baekhyun, even though one couldn’t see him, but she still managed. Finally, the truck with Baekhyun’s items and the four girls reached the building that Baekhyun had found earlier.

“This is it.” He said to Stella who repeated the information.

“How… how do you know?” The driver asked.

“Look at the sign! It says Incheon’s Incinerator. Obviously this is the place.” Stella got out of the truck, not letting the other girl answer. “Help me with these boxes!” Minhui got out, following Stella and the two girls in the car looked at each other, weirded out, but they got out as well.

“Hello sir.” Minhui said upon entering the building and coming across a worker.

“Uh.. hello. Who are you and what are you doing here?” The worker asked.

“My identity is unimportant, but my task is to burn the items in these boxes.” Minhui said, gesturing to her box and the boxes in the arms of the other girls.

“Ah, you’re here to burn things?” The worker asked.

“Hey, Park, what’s going on?” Another worker asked from a floor above.

“Some girls here have things to burn.” The first worker replied.

“Well then don’t keep them waiting! You know where to take them.” The other one said.

Park nodded before turning back to the girls. “Are there many items?”

“They’re on a truck.” Minhui replied, jerking her head back to the door. Park’s brows furrowed and he went outside to look.

He came back with a sigh. “Alright, follow me then. While you burn these first few items, I’ll go get some men to help you out.”

“Thank you very much.” Minhui smiled charmingly and Park paused for a moment, shaking his head and then heading off. The four girls followed him.

They were led into a room where there was a conveyor belt and every once in awhile, an item would appear on the belt before continuing on and entering a furnace where it disappeared forever. The girls opened the boxes and began to set down the items onto the belt. Baekhyun went to the furnace, watching all his items from where the girls set them. They neared him and then one by one, then entered the furnace and burned.

Time passed, no one kept track, and finally, all of Baekhyun’s items were gone. Baekhyun stared at the furnace that continuously opened and closed the door. His traces were all gone.

Soon, he would be too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An early chapter! :D hope you liked it~


	7. Chapter 7

Butterfly  
Chapter Seven.

Many days had passed since Baekhyun’s items had been burned. Jaemin visited Baekhyun like he’d promised himself and made a reminder to do so on his phone, but he still didn’t return to his apartment. The place was that of a reminder, a memory held there, one he didn’t want to relive.

One night, Stella, Baekhyun and Clarissa were walking home, Baekhyun gliding of course, but Stella and Clarissa were arguing. In a park, Jaemin and Jongin were having the last bit of their little date that’d begun a couple hours earlier. Stella and Clarissa continued to argue, coming to the park, but on the outskirts. Stella was pretty pissed and Baekhyun had tried to stop the fighting earlier but he was ignored. So instead, he merely followed them silently. And because he was so bored, his eyes wandered around the place.

His eyes landed on two figures in the grass of the park. Stella and Clarissa were standing in one spot, arguing now, so Baekhyun supposed that it wouldn’t hurt nor would they notice if he wasn’t there. Curious, Baekhyun floated over to the two figures, wanting to know who they were. He didn’t know why, or what it was, but they looked quite familiar to him somehow. The two figures shifted and familiar laughter broke out, making Baekhyun freeze. He knew that laughter well. He recognised that laughter, it was laughter he knew anywhere. Slowly this time, Baekhyun went closer to the figures, finally reaching them.

Jongin had Jaemin in his arms and they were talking quietly, but every once in awhile, Jaemin would smile widely and then laugh out loud. Baekhyun couldn’t feel, he knew that much. But if he could feel emotions, he would be feeling so much, too much, in that moment. If he could feel right now, he would feel his heart break.

But why would that happen? He didn’t love Jaemin like Jaemin loved him. Baekhyun considered Jaemin more as a brother than anything else, but there… used to be moments where Baekhyun wanted more. He just never acted upon those urges. And things definitely had gotten ruined that night.

“Baekhyun!?” Stella yelled out, silencing the boys and Baekhyun turned towards the girl. Clarissa wasn’t in sight, Baekhyun had a feeling that she’d left in anger.

Quickly, Baekhyun rushed over to Stella. “Stella! Stella, shut up!” Baekhyun hissed, gliding over to her quickly.

“Baekhyun! There you are! I-”

“Shut up!” Baekhyun said. “Jaemin… Jaemin and Jongin are here right now, they’re over there. See? Two figures over there. I went and checked, it’s them alright. Just keep quiet and let’s get home, please, don’t say anything more.” Stella was stunned but she nodded mutely. Baekhyun looked over and found the two boys standing up, one of them walking towards them now. “Go, Stella, go! Walk quickly, breathe normally, look casual, please.”

“Okay, okay…” Stella began to walk slowly at first, but then she picked up her pace when Baekhyun urged her to. But to his dismay, Jongin and Jaemin caught up to Stella who found that she had something stuck to the bottom of her shoe.

“St… Stella?” Jongin said, unsure. Stella froze, slowly turning around and Baekhyun cursed.

“Oh… H-hello. D-didn’t expect to bump into you t-two r-right now.” Stella stammered.

“What are you doing out here? It’s so late…” Jongin said, a look of concern crossing his face.

“I… I’m o-on my way h-home.” Stella replied. “I… I’ll get there soon. S-s-so don’t worry about me, o-okay?” She smiled weakly.

“You’re a girl and you’re a bit weak… May I take you home in my car?” Jongin asked politely and formally. Stella’s eyes widened and she took a step back. Baekhyun noticed that Jaemin was gripping onto Jongin’s hand tightly and Baekhyun, if he were real, he would’ve clenched his fist in anger. But he felt nothing.

“N-no, p-please, allow me to get home. I-I-I’m telling you, I’m a-almost home! I-I don’t w-want to bother you two too m-much.” Stella bowed and then she began to walk quickly away from the boys. Baekhyun followed her and he checked to see if they were following her, but they weren’t. He told this to Stella who thanked him swiftly, continuing to walk fast.

Soon, she reached home, a little breathless, but happy that she was safe. Twenty minutes later when she was settled in her room Baekhyun spoke up.

“Do you still have the picture of Jaemin and I?” he asked.

“Oh, yes.” Stella went over to her drawer, fishing the photo out. “Here it is!” She smiled brightly.

“Good. Rip it in half.” Baekhyun said curtly.

Stella’s smile faded. “What?! Y-you w-w-want me to rip it?” She stammered, staring at him.

“Separate us. Rip it cleanly in half, separating Jaemin and I. It’s time that I do this, that I make sure we don’t stay together at all anymore, in anything at all. My things are burned, but that’s the only thing of ours. And you still have the onesie too, right?” Stella nodded slowly. “Even better. Tomorrow, before work, can you go back to my apartment and leave both of them on my bed?”

Stella hesitated. “Okay… I can do that.” She finally said.

“Excellent. Thank you. Rip it now, or else you might forget later.” He ordered. Stella looked down at the photograph of the two boys grinning and being happy. A memory on a piece of paper, of something good in their lives. Stella carefully ripped the photo in half, Baekhyun and Jaemin now separated. She put the halves back into the drawer and Baekhyun smiled. “Thank you.” Stella nodded, unable to say anything more. She went through her closet, finding the hanger where Baekhyun’s onesie hung. He’d asked for her to keep it as well, and she did, unsure of what he wanted to do with that and the photograph.

But she knew now. And she didn’t like what she had to do. Not one bit.

 

A couple days later, Jaemin finally decided that he would move in with Jongin. Their relationship was steadily growing stronger and Jaemin thought it would be best if he lived with Jongin, since he practically did so anyways. Jongin was surprised but he let Jaemin do as he wished. Jongin had to attend something important, so he dropped Jaemin off to his apartment before leaving. Jaemin went inside, finding the place to be dusty. He went to his room first and began to pack things he wanted to take with him. When he was done, an hour later, he sat in the living room. He'd talk to the landlady later, right now he just wanted to take his essentials and then move completely later.

Jaemin looked around the apartment and brief flashes of memories went through his mind when his eyes finally landed on Baekhyun's room. The door was closed shut. Jaemin stood, wanting to see the room for one last time. He conjured up a picture of when he'd last seen it and he walked over to the door, reaching out and slowly turning the knob, peeking inside.

Jaemin was shocked. The entire room was completely devoid of life and of everything Baekhyun ever owned. There was absolutely nothing anywhere in the room. But there were two things on the bed. Jaemin walked towards it, finding two ripped halves of a photograph he recognised. Next to it was Baekhyun's flying squirrel onesie. Jaemin picked up the halves of the photo, looking at it. He turned them over. ‘I saw you. I didn't expect for you to care even less about me.’ Was written on one half. ‘Who was I to you? I thought we had something. I thought we were something - as best friends. But I can see now that you didn't want anything more to do with me. And I can't tell you why, because my brain can't equate it. Do continue telling your lies, but I won't ever be able to face it. You'll hear from me. Watch out.’

The words were eerie and chilling. Jaemin had a feeling he knew who they were from, but the handwriting… the handwriting was unrecognisable.

What did this person mean that Jaemin will hear from them? Who were they, first of all? Jaemin was a little scared, but for the most part he was sad. He picked up Baekhyun’s onesie and put it to his face, smelling it. He was hit with a slightly musty smell mixed with the scent of Baekhyun, a scent he was far too familiar with. It brought back a series of memories he almost forgot about. The times when he cuddled with Baekhyun, trying to keep warm on winter nights when the heater would screw up, the times when he just sought Baekhyun because of the fact that he was lonely, the times when he needed a shoulder - or a chest - to cry on because he was hurt. Baekhyun was there for it all. And his scent stuck with Jaemin.

One particular memory stuck out to him. Jaemin perched lightly on the edge of the bed, face buried in Baekhyun’s onesie still.

_“Baekhyun!” Jaemin burst through the door and jolted Baekhyun awake. The latter almost fell off the couch but he caught himself before that could happen and sat up, only to have the breath knocked out of him as Jaemin crashed into him, clinging onto him tightly. “Th-they’re after m-me.” He said in a shaky voice, looking back at the doorway which was empty._

_“Who is, Jaemin?” Baekhyun asked concerned. He had a feeling he knew who it was, but either way he wanted a confirmation._

_“Them! Y-you know w-who…” Jaemin turned back to Baekhyun, burying his face into his shoulder. Baekhyun sighed, before he got up and Jaemin let out a squeak, his limbs wrapping around Baekhyun tightly. If anything, he looked like a little kid who’d encountered his biggest fear and his only comfort was his brother. But that really wasn’t the case here._

_Baekhyun and Jaemin were in their final year of highschool - well Jaemin was. Baekhyun was already in his first year of university - and even though lived separately, the two visited each other often. It was beneficial that Baekhyun decided to dorm alone. At least that way, Jaemin could have the older boy all to himself and there wouldn’t be an air of awkwardness if there were to be a dormie._

_Baekhyun walked over to his door and closed it shut, locking it. “Do you want anything to eat?” He asked Jaemin. Jaemin shook his head, wrapping his arms tighter around Baekhyun’s neck. Baekhyun went back to the couch and sat down. “Hey, loosen your limbs. I’ve locked the door now, no one can come and harm you, okay?” Baekhyun rubbed Jaemin’s back soothingly and Jaemin loosened his limbs after a while._

_He moved back, looking at Baekhyun who smiled warmly at him. “C-can I stay the n-night?” Jaemin asked quietly._

_“Sure, you know you’re always welcome in my little home.” Baekhyun replied. Jaemin nodded, bottom lip trembling a bit, as he rested his head back on Baekhyun’s shoulder. ‘He really acts like a baby sometimes,’ Baekhyun thought, hugging the younger boy. After a while, Baekhyun drifted off to sleep and Jaemin dragged him onto his bed, where he slipped the older boy and himself under the blankets, where it was suddenly warmer. Jaemin pulled the blanket completely over the two, and immediately he was hit with a smell of strawberries and mint. The smell was strong and Jaemin couldn’t fall asleep for a while, but after he got used to it, his eyes fluttered shut, head landing on Baekhyun’s chest, where the smell was even stronger._

Ever since that day, Jaemin never smelled that strong scent again. He didn’t know where it went, he just never got either smell. But now, as he continued to sniff Baekhyun’s onesie, he could get the scent of the combination now. It was faint, but it was there. Jaemin’s eyes welled up as he continued to relieve that memory, and a tear escaped his eye.

A door closed shut and Jaemin wiped away his tears, standing up to see Jongin looking around. Jaemin quickly pocketed the two halves of the photo, not wanting to alarm Jongin with it. “Jongin!” Jaemin called before Jongin could. He turned around and was surprised to see Jaemin in Baekhyun’s room.

“What are you doing over there?” Jongin asked, walking towards him.

“I just decided I wanted to see this room again… I didn’t expect for it to be empty though.” Jaemin explained.

“Ah… I see. What’s that?” Jongin pointed to the light brown cloth in Jaemin’s hand.

Jaemin looked down at it, his grip underneath it tightening. “It’s Baekhyun’s onesie. I… I found it here. A-and I w- I-I’m going to keep it.” He said in a quiet voice, his eyes never leaving the cloth.

“Are you sure you want to? Doesn’t it trigger a lot of memories…?” Jongin asked.

“I’m completely positive. It’s… it’s the only thing I have that will forever remind me of him.” Jaemin looked up at Jongin, a sad but determined look on his face. “He’s my best friend, you know? I love and miss him so much…” He sighed. “I don’t want him to die, but… even if he does-” Jaemin’s voice cracked, and he sniffed hard, clearing his throat. “Even if he does, I’ll have this as a memory.” Just saying that broke his heart. He wanted Baekhyun to live so badly, he just wanted his best friend back.

“Okay Jaeminnie. You can keep it.” Jongin said, opening his arms. Jaemin shuffled over, hugging Jongin, face buried in his mid-abdomen area. Jongin’s scent was expensive. He reeked of cologne, not the familiar fruity strawberry scent or the random, but fresh and crisp minty scent of Baekhyun. Jaemin could never help himself from comparing Jongin and Baekhyun all the time, it was slowly morphing into a habit.

They were in Jongin’s car, which was a different car again. “How many expensive cars do you have?” Jaemin asked suddenly.

“Expensive?” Jongin, glanced at Jaemin.

“Well yeah… these cars are pretty expensive if you ask me. And… so is your parents’ house. Though that might as well be a mansion… it was so huge and with a wrought iron gate as well as two guards? You must be rolling in cash…” Jaemin ran his fingers lightly along the dashboard.

Jongin chuckled. “You’re cute. Ah, see the truth is-” A horn honked loudly in front of him and Jongin slammed the brakes, throwing himself and Jaemin forward. Jongin saw a car continue to take a right turn and he looked up at the streetlights which were green. Jongin cursed before he continued forward. “Are you alright Jaemin?” Jongin asked after they left the site, glancing at the younger boy.

“Y-yeah… I’m fine.” Adrenaline was still pumping through Jaemin’s veins and his heart was pounding. _Would that be considered as a near death experience?_ He wondered as he calmed himself down. _I mean, probably, if Jongin hadn’t hit the brakes, or if the other driver hadn’t honked._

The two finally reached Jongin’s apartment, and as Jaemin grabbed his backpack, he spoke up. “You still didn’t answer my question. How many expensive cars do you have?” Jongin looked at him bewildered for a second before he remembered.

Smiling, he locked his car before entering the apartment, Jaemin tailing behind. “I’ve never officially counted, but I would say I have about… seven?”

Jaemin dropped his backpack onto the floor in shock. “ _Seven_!? Jongin, what the hell?! How- S- Are-” He was unable to find the right words. “How the _fuck_ are you able to afford _seven_ fucking cars!?” Jaemin finally burst.

Jongin shrugged. “My parents are rich… My dad’s the CEO of KJI Interprises.” He sighed, plopping onto his couch. “Honestly, I still don’t know why he named it after me…” He muttered, loud enough for Jaemin to hear. Jongin closed his eyes, a slight pout appearing on his face.

Jaemin sat down on the couch, staring at Jongin shocked. “Y-you have a c-company named a-after y-you!?” He squeaked.

One eye opened and then Jongin looked at Jaemin, an amused look on his face. “Shocked are you?”

“A little too much…” Jaemin admitted. He couldn’t believe that he actually scored a rich man. Well… maybe not score, since it was a mutual liking. But still, this was… amazing.

*~*~*

“You want me to what?” Stella stared at Baekhyun.

“Look I know it’s weird, but you did promise me that you’d do all my requests, didn’t you?” Baekhyun reasoned. He pouted adorably.

“Please never pout! Oh my god, if you pout again, I’ll end up risking my life one of these days.” Stella said, covering her eyes. She huffed. “Fine, I’ll do it. Do I need fancy paper or something?”

“That would be perfect actually. That way, Jaemin could be even more scared. No threats though.” Baekhyun thought for a moment. “Actually, don’t make it a sad one. I have something better. We’ll gradually make it sad. Sound good?”

Stella shrugged, looking at him. “Do whatever you want. I’ll just do as you say for me.” Baekhyun nodded and shortly after, the two went to work.

_Hello, you came to me  
Giving me your shy scent_

_In my hazy dream  
You were shining, dazzling_

_With a fluttering heart, without knowing_  
I went to you, step by step  
And I stayed by your side

_My heart melts at your smile_  
When our eyes meet  
My heart pounds  
Oh, remember my smile in your heart  
Think about it several times a day

_Oh words I want to say you to  
You’re beautiful_

_Thank you for meeting me_  
I see you, always the same  
Your thick scent that waited for me  
Deeply rang in me

_With this mysterious and strong attraction  
I want to spread my wings toward you_

_My heart melts at your smile_  
When our eyes meet  
My heart pounds

_You didn’t know, did you?_

_Oh I’ll sing for you on your spring day  
Think about it several times a day_

_Oh this is what I think of you  
You’re beautiful_

_When you’re glad to see me_  
My heart flutters  
It’s like walking on a cloud  
Like magic, I’m taking one more step to you  
The season of you and me has come again  
Can you remember this?

_Oh yeah all right_  
I’m so lucky to have met you  
If we meet again, I want to tell you  
Fly to you, stay by my side  
You’re beautiful

Stella’s hand was hurting by the time she was done, but she still managed to keep her handwriting neat until the end. “These are lyrics?” She asked, massaging her wrist.

“Yeah, from a song I used to listen to.” Baekhyun replied. “When I was alive, I mean.”

Stella chuckled. “I figured that much. It’s a pretty song, I won’t lie.” She said. “So you want me to deliver this directly to Jongin’s house? Slip it under his door or something?”

“Yes, something like that. Do what you can. I’ll just lead you to his house.” Baekhyun said, smiling. The girl nodded, folding the paper and sticking it into an envelope.

She put the letter in the crack of the door so Jongin would see it better, later in the day, and while she was doing to the task, her heart was racing as she was worried that she would be caught. But to her luck, she wasn’t.

Jongin did find the letter addressed to Jaemin so he gave it to him, which surprised Jaemin. He wasn’t really in contact with anyone at all, so it was weird that he got a letter at all.

He read it and was surprised at the words, which were that of a song he knew and liked. There was no return address and it was signed with a single letter, N. Jaemin couldn’t think of anyone whose name started with an N, so he merely kept the letter with him.

Stella wrote another letter a few weeks later. This one was on a different paper and in different ink and the handwriting was slightly different this time as well, it was a little messier.

_I may seem strong, I may be smiling_  
But there are many times when I’m alone  
I may seem like I don’t have any worries  
But I have a lot to say  
The moment I first saw you, I was so attracted to you  
I didn’t weigh out my thoughts and just talked

_The answer is you_  
My answer is you  
I showed you my everything  
You are my everything,  
because I was so sure

_I should’ve been more careful,_  
I should’ve saved myself  
So I wouldn’t get hurt  
I’ve never felt like this before, like my breath will stop  
My head is filled with thoughts of you  
Your face, the sound of your laughter

_The answer is you_  
My answer is you   
Only you  
I showed you my everything  
You are my everything,  
because I was so sure

_I couldn’t say that I’ve waited for you_  
So I’m writing then erasing  
Being curious about your day  
takes up all of my day

_I’ll wait for you, you you you_  
Open your heart, you you  
I can’t help my heart  
You are my everything  
It’ll be forever, my love

_Oh I’m nothing_  
Don’t leave, just let me stay by your side  
Please, just let me stay by your side  
No matter how much I think about it  
Because it’s you  
It’s you  
It’s you

The lyrics were sadder too. “C’mon Baekhyun, it’s summer! Why not happy lyrics?” Stella complained when she finished.

“I… I don’t know. Just leave it as it is, and give it to them please.” Baekhyun said. Stella sighed but obeyed, doing as he asked. Jaemin was surprised again but this time he was sadder. The letter finished off with a different letter, an A this time.

Jongin was curious about these letters. “Who are they from and why are they sending you these?”

Jaemin didn’t have an answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the screw up! If you didn't see it then that's good~ :D next chapter out later on!


	8. Chapter 8

Butterfly  
Chapter Eight.

Letter after letter came, all of the lyrics sad and heartbreaking. Jaemin still had no idea why he was receiving these letters but he kept them all, finding that they were signed off with a different letter each time.

Eight letters in total. Eight songs in total. And eight different letters that were the signatures for the letter. Jaemin didn’t know what to do with the letters, so he just read them over and over again. It was near the end of November now, he’d been receiving the letters all throughout the year, and there was so much sorrow within him, stronger than when he found out about Baekhyun being in the hospital.

Baekhyun had been in the hospital for months now, still in a coma. Jaemin had stopped visiting him a while back, and he felt that it’d been far too long since he last went to see him. But he was so occupied with Jongin lately, that… all motivation to see Baekhyun was nonexistent. Jaemin hadn’t screwed Jongin yet, but the urges to do so were strong nowadays. In fact, they were probably a little too strong. It wasn’t his fault that Jongin was so good looking all the time.

Jaemin knew that one of these days he wouldn’t be able to control himself. It was a great thing that Jongin was out of the house for most of the time, but even so, Jaemin missed him.

On the other hand, Jongin seemed to bump more and more into Stella, in the randomest of places. Either she was alone or with a friend, but nonetheless Jongin came across her. Stella stuttered away whenever she was near him, and she also always kept her eyes down, or looking away from Jongin. He wanted to know why she did that, but he didn’t know when or how to ask her, since she always wanted to escape him. But one day, he managed to ask her to have a drink with him, as nicely as he could. Stella tried to say no, but in the end she relented. When she got her drink, a simple peppermint mocha, she kept herself occupied with the drink and other things.

“Stella…” Jongin saw her visibly stiffen. “Can I ask you something?” She hesitated but nodded, still not looking at him. “Why won’t you look at me? And why do you stutter so much?”

Stella didn’t answer. She continued to drink her drink, not saying anything and Jongin waited patiently. “Th-the thing is that I-I-I’m afraid of y-you.” She said finally.

“Afraid of me? But why?” Jongin asked.

“I… I’ve b-been raised t-to be wary and a-a-afraid of all men. I-it doesn’t m-m-matter who they are. I… I’ll be afraid o-of them.”

“I see. You do know that all men aren’t bad though… right? Like me for example. I’m trying my best to befriend you and I… I’m… unintentionally… looking after you.” Stella froze.

Her brown eyes slowly moved up to look at Jongin who was looking directly back at her. “But.. w-w-why?”

Jongin shrugged. “I don’t know. I think you’re a pretty and interesting person. There’s an urge within me to get to know you. I just would like to be your friend, Stella, I’m not really interested in anything more.”

“I-if my m-m-mother finds out… Sh-she’ll kill m-me…” Stella said, looking back down at her drink and finishing it.

“We can still be friends. I’ll be careful. I won’t hurt you, I’ll just look after you, along with Jaemin. I… I don’t know what it is.. but I just have an urge to protect you both.” Jongin admitted.

“I… I c-c-can take care of m-m-myself. Y-you don’t need to worry about m-me.” Stella said, standing up, fixing the bag on her shoulder. Jongin stood as well, finishing his own drink.

He looked at her, her head bent. “Let me try. Let’s just try. I want to be your friend, please.” He said softly. _His honey laden voice is so tempting and he is too… this isn’t okay, I shouldn’t be talking to him at all!_ Stella thought frantically. The wants to be his friend were strong… So she finally agreed to be his friend, as long as he didn’t do funny stuff with her, and he promised he wouldn’t.

That had been in early August. By now, November, Stella stuttered much less around Jongin and Jaemin as well, and she’d gotten to know the two quite well. She had a similar reaction to Jaemin, when she found out that Jongin was the son of a CEO. Stella also accidentally said about what her mother would think if she knew that she had a friend who was not only a male but also the son of a CEO of a company that was named after the son, something she hadn’t meant to say, but something that made Jongin laugh.

At night after work was done for Stella, Jongin was kind enough to drive her home, stopping the car a street away just so she could hang out for some time, before getting out and leaving the car and Jongin. Stella found Jongin to be too overly adorable sometimes and she knew that he was, for the most part, an innocent man. Her attraction towards him grew and for some reason, so did Jongin, as he continued to spend more time with her.

Jaemin was left as a third wheel sometimes, and it was awkward on the occasion, but he tried not to mind it too much. After all, he had Jongin all for himself when Stella was gone.

The letters stopped. Baekhyun hadn’t appeared in Stella’s life for an awful long time. Christmas was nearing and everything was much colder than previously. Seoul was decorated in lovely fairy lights and other Christmas lights. Both Stella and Jaemin loved the sights of the city, and whenever they had free time, they wandered about the streets, Jongin tailing behind.

They spent those free nights with food, sights and lots of talking and storytelling. Even though Jaemin was a little jealous of Stella and Jongin’s relationship, Stella was polite, bright and lovely to him. Out of kindness, she got the two gifts and she wanted to give one to Baekhyun as well, but she had no ability to.

After another fun night, a week before Christmas Eve, Baekhyun finally appeared in Stella’s room. She was home alone again and was startled when Baekhyun made his presence known.

“Hello Baekhyun. What brings you here? I’ve not seen you in a long while.” She said after she calmed down.

“I finally made my decision.” He answered. His voice had always been a monotone, but it seemed right now it was even more monotone.

“What decision…?” She asked.

“The decision of my life. I’ve decided what I want to do.” Baekhyun answered promptly. Stella had been doing something while she’d asked her question, but now she froze.

She turned towards his ghost. “A-are you s-sure…?” She stammered.

“Completely. I’ve got no reason to come back to life.”

“But… what about Jaemin?”

“He hasn’t visited me in months, it’s clear he’s lost all interest in my well-being. Why come back to life only to have him be miserable? He’s happy without me, and you know about it entirely.” Stella’s mouth was partly open now.

She looked down, not knowing what to say. “Well… what do you want me to do then?” She finally managed to say.

“A final letter. It will be the longest letter, and of course, more lyrics. That’s the final thing I will ask of you, and then… I will go. And I won’t come back.” Baekhyun’s tone seemed final and Stella took a deep breath, nodding.

She put the letter off for some days, distracting herself from the thought, but she knew that she was going to have to write it soon. So she called up Baekhyun, three days before Christmas, and then the process begins again - but for the final time.

_Don’t think of anything_  
Don’t say anything, not even a word  
Just give me a smile

_I still can’t believe it_  
All of this seems like a dream  
Don’t try to disappear

_Is it true Is it true_  
You You  
You’re so beautiful, that I’m scared  
Untrue Untrue  
You You You

_Will you stay by my side_  
Will you promise me  
If I let go of your hand, you’ll fly away and break  
I’m scared scared scared of that

_Will you stop time_  
If this moment passes  
As though it hadn’t happened  
I’m scared scared scared I’ll lose you

_Butterfly like a Butterfly_  
Just like a Butterfly bu-butterfly  
Butterfly like a butterfly  
Just like a Butterfly bu-butterfly

_You’re just like a Butterfly_  
From afar, I steal glances; if we touch hands, will I lose you?  
You shine in this pitch darkness that is the butterfly effect  
Your light touches, I forget the reality at once

_It’s like a wind that gently strokes me_  
It’s like a dust that gently drifts along  
You’re there but for some reason, I can’t reach you, stop  
You, who’s like a dream is a butterfly high to me

_Untrue Untrue  
You You You_

_Will you stay by my side_  
Will you promise me  
If I let go of your hand, you’ll fly away and break  
I’m scared scared scared of that

_Will you stop time_  
If this moment passes  
As though it hadn’t happened  
I’m scared scared scared I’ll lose you

_The small pieces guttered down darkly_  
From my heart, a barren noise  
I don’t know if this is reality or a dream  
My Kafka on the seaside  
Don’t go to those woods over there  
My heart is still shattering on you  
(I just wanted to vaporize like this)  
My love that is forever  
It’s all FREE for you baby

_Will you stay by my side_  
Will you promise me  
If I let go of your hand, you’ll fly away and break  
I’m scared scared scared of that

_Will you stop time_  
If this moment passes  
As though it hadn’t happened  
I’m scared scared scared I’ll lose you

_Butterfly like a Butterfly_  
Just like a Butterfly bu-butterfly  
Butterfly like a butterfly  
Just like a Butterfly bu-butterfly

Stella was nearly in tears by the end of that, but she wasn’t even close to done.

_Hello, Jaemin. It’s been awhile since we last talked. Actually, it’s nearing a year. Did you know? I can’t believe it either… It’s so crazy. So many things happened during the past few years between us, and they were all lovely memories. But those memories are going to disappear from me, even though they will remain in your mind, but will be forgotten._

_I don’t know if you’ve tried to unscramble the signatures from the other eight letters? Did you try? You should probably try, they spell out something you know very well. Unfortunately, this will be the last time I contact you. I’ve decided to leave the world forever, and never come back. Where I go shouldn’t necessarily concern you, but just know that you and I won’t be meeting ever again._

_I want you to continue living though. I want you to not kill yourself just because I’m no longer existent. I wouldn’t want for you to be dead just to join me. Stay strong, stay happy and stay alive. I want you to continue to live, please. Stay with Jongin, or if you’ve found someone else, stay with them, and keep them and yourself happy. This is all I ask of you, this is my final wish for you Jaemin._

_Things never progressed between us, but I did end up growing a strong liking towards you, little by little. I denied it though. I denied it repeatedly everyday. And then… It’s just that… something happened, something that was both our faults, something that ended things for us, and for good._

_I’ve decided to leave. And I’ve decided to never come back. Don’t take it to heart, please, just move on with your life. You were my best friend. And I thank you for all that you’ve done for me and with me. Thank you, for being by my side. Please don’t forget me._

_I don’t have anything more to say, you know how bad I am with words and expressing myself. So I’ll end this letter here. And I will go._

_Goodbye. May we meet again in another life. I love you._

Stella was in tears now and she couldn’t help for the tears to fall onto the paper. She tried apologising to Baekhyun, but he waved it off, saying that it was better that way. At least Jaemin would believe the letter.

Stella’s task was to deliver the letter on Christmas Eve, and then head to the hospital with Baekhyun, to take him off life support. And she did so, in the cold and freezing weather. “I have made the choice to not live anymore.” Baekhyun said when he was near his body. Something weird happened, and Baekhyun’s ghost got sucked back into his body and he woke up, gasping and Stella was shocked. “Jaemin!” was the only word that left Baekhyun’s lips before he fell back. A single, elongated beep was heard and Stella looked at the heart monitor, tears in her eyes. Only a single green line was visible.

Baekhyun was no more. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!
> 
> Sorry this chapter is so emo ;-; but it's almost over !!!


	9. Chapter 9

Butterfly  
Chapter Nine.

Jaemin didn’t receive the letter until well into the afternoon. Neither he nor Jongin knew where Stella was, nor did they know who the letter was from. But after Jaemin read it, he ran over to the other eight letters he had, sifting through them. He asked Jongin for a piece of paper and a pen, and Jongin gave him that, wondering what he was up to.

Jaemin sat down, writing down the eight signatures, trying to figure out what it spelled out. “N… A…. K… B… Y… H… E… U…” He muttered to himself, looking hard at the letters. It took him a while, but he ordered the letters in alphabetical order. “A… B… E… H… K… N… U… Y…” Slowly, the letters began to form a name he knew really well. The ninth letter was right, it was something he knew very well.

It was the name of his best friend. Baekhyun.

Jaemin reread the ninth letter again, and a chill swept through his body as he realised what it meant. “Jongin, you have to take me to the hospital.” He said, not looking up from the letter.

“What? Say that again? I didn’t hear you.” Jongin walked over to Jaemin, confused.

“Take me to hospital now, please.” Jaemin repeated, looking up. Jongin was still confused but he complied and took Jaemin to the hospital. When they reached it, Jaemin wasted no time and got out the car, ignoring Jongin who called out to him. “Hello, I'm here to see a-a Byun Baekhyun?” He told the nurse at the front.

“Byun Baekhyun? I'm sorry sir but I don't think we have that name in our records.” The nurse said.

“Not in your records…? What do you mean, he was admitted a few months back!”

“May I ask how many months back exactly?”

“Ah… uh…”

“Try March 27th. This year, please.” A familiar voice came from his side and he turned his head quickly towards the voice.

“Stella!” Stella glanced at him once, awaiting the nurse’s answer.

“Ah… you're right, he was admitted but… he's been discharged. He's no longer on our records.” The nurse finally said.

“That will do, thank you.” Stella said, grabbing some papers and then leaving. Jaemin ran after her, quickly catching up to her.

“Stella? What happened? Where's Baekhyun?” Jaemin asked. Stella didn't reply. Her attention was taken away from her papers and instead to another nurse who talked rapidly to her. They walked ahead but Jaemin continued to follow her, until they reached a door where Jaemin grabbed Stella’s elbow and slammed her against the wall, making the papers in her hand fly out. Her eyes were wide and before Jaemin could say a word, Stella screamed. Jaemin let go of her, only then remembering her fear. He'd triggered it.

“Stella! What's going on!?” A nurse appeared looking worried. Stella pointed a shaky hand at Jaemin.

“H-h-h-h-he…”

“I'm sorry! I didn't mean to, it was an accident, I forgot! Please forgive me…” Jaemin said quickly. “Look, I'll leave the hospital now, okay? But please stop by Jongin’s place for us?” Jaemin pleaded. Stella didn't say anything, instead she was on the verge of tears.

“Please follow me out of the hospital sir.” The nurse said quietly.

“Stella…” Jaemin tried, eyes pleading. A tear slipped from her eye and Jaemin felt terrible.

“Sir, this way please.” Jaemin followed the nurse out of the hospital. “Please, the next time you come, try not to harass our nurses.”

“Yes miss, I made a mistake, I’m really sorry.” Jaemin said.

“You're forgiven by me, but I don't know about Stella.”

The boy nodded. “I'll be on my way then..”

He left with Jongin, unable to say anything. What happened to his best friend?

Days passed and Stella never stopped by Jongin’s house. Jaemin was worried sick about Baekhyun, trying pointlessly to call him and text him but nothing was answered. Jaemin felt heartbroken and slightly betrayed by Stella, as she didn’t do as he asked.

Stella on the other hand had just finished up hosting a funeral for Baekhyun. It was only the day after the funeral, but Stella felt hollow, as she sat in front of Baekhyun’s grave.

_Byun Baekhyun_  
A Best Friend, A Loved One, and  
A Very Unique, Loving, Special Human.  
1992, May Sixth - 2015, December Twenty Fourth.  
You will be remembered for the rest of our lives.

The gravestone was simple and plain, but pretty. Stella, out of her own wishes, had for the stone to be made of marble, saying that it was her Christmas gift to him, since she hadn’t been able to give him anything properly.

She let more time pass, and on February 14th, a rainy Valentine’s Day, did she finally appear at Jongin’s doorstep. Jongin wasn’t home, but Jaemin was and he was shocked but ecstatic to see Stella. “Do you want to see Baekhyun?” She asked in a soft voice.

“Please! I want to know what happened to my best friend, I miss him so much.” Jaemin said.

“Grab a jacket and an umbrella. I’ll take you to him.” She said. She was only in a raincoat and a dress with tights, but Jaemin brought an umbrella like she requested, and they used it to keep themselves dry. It wasn’t very windy, which Jaemin was thankful of. But he still didn’t like being wet. Either way, he pushed on, hoping to see Baekhyun alive and well, and he really wanted to hug him again, tell him that he was sorry for the previous year. He was so excited to touch him, to smell him, hug him, maybe even kiss him, if Baekhyun was willing.

But Stella seemed to lead him towards a place he didn’t recognise. She stopped. “Take my hand and close your eyes. He told me that you couldn’t see the place until I tell you to open your eyes. Keep them shut please, and take my hand. I’ll lead you to him. Don’t worry.” Jaemin was worried though, but Stella smiled reassuringly at him, and he obeyed, taking her hand and closing his eyes shut. Stella began to walk, leading him to the place she last visited a week prior. She visited Baekhyun quite often, if she were to tell the truth.

After a long while of walking, a gate opening and closing and squishy sounds of mud underneath their feet passed, they reached the place. Stella squeezed Jaemin’s hand before letting go, her eyes watering. “Open your eyes. Look down.” She said softly, and her voice cracked. Jaemin opened his eyes, looking around the place, blinking furiously against the slight rain. He wiped his face clean, still looking around until he was nudged gently to look down. He did, finding a slab of marble standing up.

Jaemin squatted down slowly, looking at the marble gravestone. “What is this?” He asked quietly.

“Where Baekhyun lives and will forever live. Underneath the soil and mud you stand upon is the coffin of his body, long deceased.” Stella said formally.

Jaemin didn’t say anything at first. Then, “You must be joking right? …December 24th…” He muttered, looking at the words on the marble. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I’m sorry Jaemin. I didn’t want to hurt you, but… I guess I’ve hurt you more now. I’m sorry, but a request was a request.” Stella answered.

“R-request? F-from who?” Jaemin looked up at her, ignoring the rain that fell on his face.

Stella sighed lightly. “First, talk to Baekhyun. Do what you must, then I’ll explain everything to you. I promise, I won’t leave a detail behind.” She said.

“But-”

“Please.” She stepped back, taking the umbrella with her. Jaemin got drenched and he turned towards Baekhyun’s gravestone. Tears mixed with the rain that fell and as Jaemin began to talk, Stella left the place, not wanting to cry further. She’d already cried so much. She didn’t want to listen to what Jaemin had to say to Baekhyun, she didn’t want to listen to anything at all. She stood, waiting outside the gates of the cemetery for Jaemin.

“Baekhyun… Hey…” Jaemin began, sniffing. “I miss you. I’ve missed you so much and… I know.. that I haven’t visited as… often as I should have. I regret that. Actually no… I regret trying to take aggressive action over you… It was my too strong desires that got us - got you - like this. I’ve gotten all your letters… I don’t think you wrote them though, did you? That handwriting… it wasn’t yours. But those words were, I knew that much. I don’t know… if you’re listening right now, somehow, either from heaven or as a ghost… But I just want to say three things…” Jaemin took a deep breath. “I’m sorry. I miss you. I love you. I can’t explain how much I think about you at least once a day everyday. I’m always comparing you to Jongin and always making excuses about how you’re better than he is… and you are. Were. Whatever. You… You were down to earth… humble… caring… loving most especially… You always knew what to say, what to do everything, to make me feel better. I always…” Jaemin’s voice cracked. “I always went to you, seeking comfort, love, and warmth. You gave that to me and I can never thank you enough for that. I don’t know how I can thank you. I miss you so much Baekhyun, you have no idea. I wish you didn’t die. I wish you hadn’t gotten into that car accident. I wish you were still with me. I wish we were together, right now, after a warm and happy Christmas and New Years. It’s Valentine’s Day today, did you know? A year ago, we went on a date… at least that’s what I considered it, I don’t know about you but… It was a lovely day for me. Until you got a little carried away.” Jaemin let out a laugh shaking his head. “I’m sorry Baekhyun, for my stupid actions. I shouldn’t have done anything at all, hell I should’ve gone back after you and apologised or stayed home and cooled down. But I didn’t. And I’m sorry. I hope heaven, or wherever it is you are, is treating you well. You deserve the best of the best, and…” Jaemin silenced, letting himself cry more. He took a deep breath. “I love you. I always have, and I always will. I won’t forget you, I never will. Sleep well, don’t let the bugs bite, and always know that I will love you first, before everyone else. You over all…” He trailed off before standing up, stumbling a bit. His legs wobbled as he kissed his fingers and placed them on the top of the marble gravestone.

Jaemin walked out of the cemetery carefully, sinking into the mud a bit and found Stella waiting patiently outside of the gates. She looked at him as he closed the gate behind him. “Did you talk to him?” She asked. Jaemin nodded, before gesturing her ahead.

The two walked back to Jongin’s place, completely drenched. While Jaemin changed, Stella made hot chocolate for them both and she was sitting on the edge of the couch. “Sit back, be comfortable. This.. this place is your home as much as it is mine.” Jaemin said, taking his mug of hot chocolate. Stella pursed her lips but did as he offered, sitting back into the couch, pulling her feet up.

Halfway through drinking in silence, Stella spoke up. “So I’m assuming you want to know everything?”

“Please. And take your time, we have a lot of time on our hands.” Jaemin said. They were being so formal and polite, it was really unlike them. Stella nodded though, and then she launched into the entire story, starting from when Baekhyun came into the hospital, up till his last request for her. As she promised, she left out no detail as far as she could remember. By the time Jaemin was done, he was a mix of happy and more depressed. It was as if a hole had been filled in him, but then another one had hollowed in its place.

He couldn’t think of any words to say, anything to tell Stella about what she told him. The front door opened and then closed. “Jaemin? I’m home. Where are you?” Jaemin and Stella both looked towards the hallway where Jongin’s voice came from.

Jaemin sighed a bit before he replied. “I’m in here. Stella’s here too.”

“Stella’s here?” Jongin sounded bewildered. He walked over to the living room where the two were. “You are here. Hello Stella, we haven’t seen you in a long time.” He smiled warmly at her and Stella returned it weakly, trying not to pay attention to her heart. “Why are you both wet? Did you two take a shower together?” He teased and Stella and Jaemin both turned red. “And you both seem so gloomy too so maybe that’s not the case.”

“Make yourself something, and…” Stella began, biting her lip, looking down.

“We’ll explain everything.” Jaemin finished for her.

Jongin paused before nodding. “Alright. I can do that.” He left for the kitchen making himself a cup of tea before heading upstairs to change into something.

While he was upstairs, Jaemin spoke. “I think Jongin likes you.” He blurted out. Stella froze. If she has hot chocolate in her mouth, she would’ve definitely spat it out.

She stared at Jaemin in shock. “W-w-what? Why would you s-say something l-like that?” She asked.

“Honestly, his actions and words and tone of voice are what gave it away.” Jaemin leaned back, a slight mischievous smile on his face.

“Y-you’re being ridiculous. Jongin only s-sees me as a younger sibling, and I’m pretty sure that he’s more i-interested in you than he is in me.” Stella said after a moment of contemplation.

“Yeah, that’s what it seemed like, but then I realised that the only one truly for me is now no longer around. He’s perfect for you I think.”

“Isn’t he gay though…? I could’ve sworn he told us that. I’m pretty sure you know that too.”

“He can be bisexual too. Didn’t you know that's a possibility? And also, didn't you say that you liked everyone?” Stella was quiet.

“I don't want to take action. I'm still afraid. I'd rather stay alone and single for the rest of my life than be led on by someone, or to love someone and not be loved in return.” She said firmly after a long moment of silence.

“Damn. Well put. Ah, I wish I had the same mindset as you. Unfortunately, I’m a hopeless romantic, so what you said doesn't apply to me.” He shrugged, sitting back and they lapsed into silence. A moment later, whistling sounded and Jongin ran down the stairs to the kitchen, pouring the boiling water into a cup and adding a tea bag, along with two spoonfuls of sugar. He stirred the tea before joining the two in the living room, purposefully sitting on the same couch as Stella. She made eye contact with Jaemin who smiled innocently and Stella curled up further into herself.

“So what's up with you two?” Jongin asked after taking a sip. Jaemin began the story, talking about the events that happened earlier. When he was done, Jongin was about to talk but Stella talked over him, telling him what she told Jaemin earlier, finally getting Jongin caught up. While Stella talked, she mostly looked at Jaemin or at her mug or her hands. But every once in awhile she would glance to her right to see Jongin looking at her with rapt attention, something that made her face go hot and her cheeks redden. Jaemin noticed this of course, and the smirk never left his face. When Stella finished, Jongin finally looked down, thinking.

Jaemin broke the silence. “And that's where we left off before you came home. I… I still don't know what to say about what she said… but I do know that it all makes so much more sense. I…” he sighed, smirk fading and Jaemin fiddled with his fingers. “I miss Baekhyun.” He said quietly. “I miss him a lot.”

“I’d say that he missed you too, Jaemin, but he was a ghost.” Stella said, looking at Jaemin. “And ghosts can't feel. But… he did tell me, like I told you, that he thought you didn't care about him anymore. You never visited him after your visit in May, on his birthday, and he wanted for you to come. On your birthday, he wanted to tell you something, I don't know what, but he said that he had something he wanted to tell you. But you never came. He told me that night, on what I presume was your birthday, that if he could feel, he would be feeling sadness and heartbreak.”

Jaemin looked down, ashamed. “I regret so many things.” He said in a tiny voice, which cracked. Jongin took pity, setting his cup down and going over to wrap Jaemin in a bear hug. Stella watched them, and felt she was intruding. As she heard them whisper to each other, she silently stood, taking the three cups and heading to the kitchen, putting them in the sink. She grabbed her jacket and was about to leave when her wrist was caught by a hand.

Stella turned to find Jongin looking over her. “Let me take you home. It's pouring, you already came here in this weather.” She tried protesting but Jongin wouldn't hear it.

Jongin dropped her off home, like he always did, waiting like they used to. This time, they were quiet. Stella looked out at the raindrops sliding down the glass of the window, feeling warm and crisp. Jongin tried not to look at her but he really couldn't keep his eyes off of her. She looked too cute in her bright yellow rain jacket. Not just cute but also small, as if when he hugged her, she would disappear into his arms. Stella then looked away from the window and Jongin turned his head away just in time. “Is it almost time for me to go?” She asked.

He looked at his watch. “A little longer.” He answered. “By the way… thanks.”

“For what?”

“For everything. From looking after Baekhyun, to doing all he requested for you to do and to looking after Jaemin. I know the last one wasn't a lot but… it still sufficed. You finally told him what he wanted to know for over a month, and I’m pretty sure he's grateful for knowing. I know I am… I also know that it was probably most painful for the both of you. Baekhyun was your best friend and he was Jaemin’s as well.”

“Baekhyun… I never got to know the real him. We did meet each other once, maybe it was by accident or by chance. I don't know. But… either way, I've never spoken to him, nor have I any idea on how he works or what he's truly like. I just knew him as Byun Baekhyun, a ghost that just needed some things out of the way before he could leave. It was his choice anyways, I had no part in anything.” Stella replied, looking at him.

“Either way, you did what you could and I know that Jaemin is very grateful to you.” Jongin couldn't resist the urge to move a strand of hair out of her face. This was getting to be too much. He always knew he liked boys, but Stella…

He liked her too.

It was weird, admitting that in his head. He liked a girl. He hadn't really liked girls before, thought they were all the same. But Stella was different. Stella was unique and beautiful in her own way. And he supposed that her actions and who she was made him gain a crush on her. Ridiculous, but the heart wants what it wants.

Stella broke his thoughts. “It's time for me to go.” He opened his eyes, finding that she was just a couple inches away from his face. _No! Don't let her get away, just kiss her! Once!_ A voice said in his head. But he watched her get out of the car and the door closed shut. Stella waved, a little smile on her face, and she turned away. _Go!_ Jongin sat there frozen for a second before he quickly fumbled with the latch of the car door, opening it and stumbling out.

He walked quickly over to her. “Stella!” Stella stopped and she turned around, only to have Jongin cup her face and kiss her fully on the lips. Her eyes widened and she was surprised, for this was the last thing she'd expected to happen. A kiss in the rain.

Jongin broke away, drenched now, but he didn't care. “I've been meaning to do that.” He said, taking a step back. Stella watched him, frozen, eyes still wide and she was unable to say anything. “Goodnight. Take care of yourself for me! And go home quick, you'll catch a cold!” Jongin said. He smiled brightly and then turned away, jogging to his car and getting in before speeding away.

Stella stood there for a full two minutes, getting drenched before she herself turned around and walked home, trying to process what just happened. She was home alone again, but she barely noticed. Stella took off her jacket and changed into dry clothes before she curled up into her blankets, a blushing mess. Now this was getting quite out of hand. Why on _earth_ would Jongin even do that!? It didn't mean…

Stella shook her head. Jaemin was crazy. Jongin was crazy. No, scratch that, _boys_ were crazy. Each and every single one of them, even Baekhyun! Even though he had been a ghost. But it was because of that craziness that got her to be a little more loose around men. It was because of that craziness that made her unexpectedly fall in love with a man. Her mother would kill her if she ever found out. _So be it. I won't tell her. I never planned to anyways._ Stella thought, rolling over and falling asleep.

*~*~*

A couple years passed and Jaemin was currently dating a boy who was younger than him. Jongin often remarked that they made a great pair and Jaemin would only reply with “But you and Stella make a better pair than we do, so shut your mouth.” and usually that worked.

Even more years passed, and Jaemin ended up married and hell, so did Jongin and Stella. The whole mess with her mother had been taken care of years ago and thank god for that. But as Jaemin was walking past a huge poster that was splayed on a building one day, with his husband and with Jongin and Stella nearby, he noticed something he didn’t expect to really see. On the poster there was an awfully familiar face that was grinning in a way Jaemin somehow knew so well. And upon closer inspection of the poster, Jaemin couldn’t believe his eyes.

Byun Baekhyun was alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it! The final chapter! Thanks for reading and apologies for this being so rushed! I might write a second book, have this be a duology but I don't know yet! I'll see  
> Anyways, thank you so much for reading!!! :) I appreciate it deeply~

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked this chapter~ more to come later :)


End file.
